The Mince Pie Mix-Up by Jennifer Joyce Page B

of seven o’clock on a Monday morning. Judy stretched. And stretched a bit more. It was on her third much-needed stretch that she realised there was some resistance on her right-hand.
    ‘Calvin!’ Judy gave her slumbering husband a good shake – possibly rougher than was strictly necessary – before springing from the bed. Calvin, as Judy, was supposed to have been up at least an hour and a half ago. He should be in the kitchen, elbow-deep in pastry while simultaneously chivvying the children along. Scott should be at least staring groggily at his cereal while Charlie practised her ballet steps between mouthfuls of Coco Pops.
    ‘Calvin! You need to get up!
Now!
’
    Calvin rubbed at his eyes and gave a languorous yawn before he felt able to speak coherently. ‘It’s still early and I’m knackered because
you
kept me awake all night snoring.’ He glared at Judy, who didn’t even have the good grace to look ashamed. When she really should. He wouldn’t have believed that the noise that had filled the room could have been produced by a human being and he’d thought a warthog had smuggled itself under the covers at one point.
    ‘Ha!’ Judy said. ‘Now you know how
I
feel. Not good, is it?’
    Calvin snuggled back down under the covers. ‘I don’t snore. Not like that.’
    Judy attempted to whip off the covers, but Calvin had a tight grip. ‘Calvin, get up now or I will wax every hair on my body and leave you fuzz-free for at least six weeks.’
    Calvin half-opened one eye. ‘You wouldn’t dare.’
    ‘Wouldn’t I?’ Judy folded her arms across her chest. ‘Imagine what Curtis will say when you show up to football with silky smooth legs. And I
will
turn up in shorts again, even if I know I’ll freeze to death.’
    ‘Then I’ll get a tattoo.’ Calvin was fully awake now and sitting up in bed. ‘A great big one, right across my arse.’
    ‘But that would be permanent.’ Calvin wasn’t playing fair!
    ‘And you think the piss-taking I’d get from Curtis wouldn’t be permanent?’ He’d never let Calvin live it down in a million years. ‘They already think I’m a big, wine-sipping girl.’
    ‘Then let’s not wax or get tattoos. You get out of bed and sort the kids out and I’ll get ready for work.’ Judy was quite looking forward to working in an office. There would be no aching feet and no avoiding Norman Greene’s wandering hands. It was going to be pure bliss.
    ‘About that.’ Calvin climbed out of bed and plonked his feet into Judy’s slippers, which he had to admit were heavenly on his battered feet. ‘I’m worried about how you’ll cope at the office. I’m supposed to give a presentation on Friday and Perry is already in a frenzy about it.’
    Judy eyed her slippers with envy. She missed their soft sheepskin lining. Perhaps she’d nip into town and buy a Calvin-sized pair after work. ‘Will you relax? I do have marketing experience, remember?’
    Judy and Calvin had met while taking the same marketing degree at university. She’d spotted him straightaway with his handsome face, cheeky grin and sporty physique, and while Calvin claimed he had been instantly won over by Judy too, she knew it was a good couple of months before he even became aware of her existence. But become aware of her existence he had and they had both found themselves staring down at two blue lines on a pregnancy test before the course was over. Judy had put her career on hold – before it had even begun – to raise their son.
    ‘You have a degree, Judy,’ Calvin told her now. ‘But that isn’t the same as having experience. You’ve never actually worked in an office before. University and an actual working environment are very different things.’
    ‘Not this again.’ Judy held in a sigh. After all they’d been through, Calvin still didn’t get it. ‘I
do
work. Just because it isn’t in a fancy office doesn’t make it any less demanding.’
    Calvin strongly disagreed. ‘Do you have a very