The Promise by Lesley Pearse Page B

against her reaction. She had no doubt he was afraid she would see it as him deserting her, and that would drive a wedge between them.
    She loved him too much to prolong the confusion he was in. She knew she had got to be as brave as he was and let him do what he felt was right.
    Taking his hand lying on her hip, she squeezed it. ‘I don’t want you to go,’ she said softly in the darkness. ‘I’m not like you, I don’t care about King and Country, I’m selfish enough to want everything to stay the same cosy way it is now. But I know you have principles, and if you feel you must go and fight, then I’ll support your decision.’
    ‘Really?’ he whispered back. ‘You see, although I don’t want to be apart from you, when your country is at war that isn’t a valid excuse for wriggling out of fighting. Almost all the men who’ve already gone must have had sweethearts or wives they didn’t want to leave, but they found the courage for it. That white feather today will be just the first of many if I stay. Some people will say that I’m not only a coward, but I’m profiting from the war. I couldn’t live with that.’
    Belle clung to him, biting her lip so she wouldn’t blurt out that she didn’t care if he was called a coward as long as she had him home with her. ‘I know, I couldn’t bear that either,’ she lied.
    ‘I wish I did believe it will all be over by Christmas,’ he said, drawing her into his arms. ‘I wish I could promise you too that I’ll come home safe and sound. But I do believe that as God kept you safe and brought you back to me after all you went through when you were abducted, then he wouldn’t be so cruel as to let me be killed in France when we’re expecting our first baby.’
    Belle wasn’t so sure God worked that way. She thought it was more likely that he put some people on this earth to be tested again and again. She and Jimmy had had two years of sublime happiness, and perhaps that was all they could expect.
    He moved his right hand down on to her belly, stroking the small curve as if silently trying to tell his child that he loved it and that he intended to be the best of fathers.
    ‘So when will you go to the recruitment place?’ she whispered, moved by his sensitivity.
    ‘Tomorrow,’ he said. ‘No point in prolonging the agony.’
    The weather turned suddenly autumnal on the day Jimmy went to the recruitment office. The temperature dropped and it was wet and windy, bringing down showers of golden and russet leaves that until then had been beautiful. To Belle it was an omen that all the happiness they had shared was ending, but she bit back her tears and packed warm thick socks, underwear, soap and some little comforts in a bag, trying hard not to dwell on whether the precious two days they had left together would be the last.
    On the morning Jimmy was to take the train to London Bridge to join the other men in the Royal Sussex regiment, the sky was as leaden as Belle’s heart and a cold wind whistled under the back door. Garth made jovial remarks over breakfast about how good the send-off had been in the bar the previous night, but it was clear he was also dreading the moment his nephew would leave. Mog’s face was wreathed in sadness as she packed sandwiches and cake for Jimmy to take with him, and Belle couldn’t trust herself to speak.
    At eight the four of them were at Blackheath station and Belle clung to Jimmy while Mog and Garth looked on. When the first of their customers had joined up, they’d both stood outside the pub cheering them on their way, but since then they’d seen casualty lists and the reality of war had set in. Now anxiety was etched in their faces.
    ‘You’ll be in my heart every minute of every day and night,’ Belle whispered. At London Bridge Jimmy would board a troop train to Dover, then travel by ship to France where he would do his basic training in Etaples.
    The platform was crowded with groups of friends and relatives who had come