The Purple Heart by Christie Gucker Page A

sent to
bed without supper. I was about to spin around to yell at him, but
he walked past me, moving right to his room. It was almost eerie,
as though I wasn’t even there and he was only a shadow of himself.
I wanted to take back everything I had said to him downstairs that
made him think I doubted him. I wanted to pull him onto my bedroom
and make love to him all night. My guilt was taking over my
emotions, so I knew what I had to do was let him think about
opening up to me. I entered my room, and listened for his door to
shut.
    I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to cry
or break something. I was furious with him for not letting me in. I
was furious with Cheryl for putting all these stupid thoughts in my
head in the first place. I also didn’t want to lose him. I felt the
wedge that existed between us right now. It was ripping into my
entire being, draining everything I had. My whole reaction to this
was kind of freaking me out. It felt so real and serious. Maybe
I was PMSing or something. I threw myself on my bed and felt my
tears start. Within seconds I heard a soft knocking on my
door.
    “ Sydney? Are you crying?
Please don’t cry. I don’t mean to cause you any pain. I can’t know
that I’m the cause for your tears. It’s ripping my soul
apart.”
    I ran to the door, flung it open, and
fell into his arms. I desperately tried to stifle my weeping;
allowing only muffled whimpers to break through. He pulled me
close, holding my head against his chest, right over his
heart.
    “ Baby, everything is going
to be all right. Please just let things happen on their own. I’m
not hiding my past from you. Everything will come to light in time,
and you’ll understand why who I was just doesn’t matter to me
anymore. I feel like I came back to be with you, to have something
better than I had before. You’re giving me that. Please don’t take
it away. Please don’t turn away from me.”
    “ I’m not turning away from
you. I just don’t want there to be any secrets. It’s not the way to
start a healthy relationship.”
    “ I promise, that in time,
you’ll know everything there is to possibly know about me. Anything
your little heart desires, you’ll know. But not yet. I have to work
through some things out in my own head first. You should
understand; you’re my case manager. Isn’t this normal?”
    “ There is no normal for
soldiers returning. Every case is different. I’m sorry. I should’ve
considered that as an option. You’re not ready, are you?” I
was approaching epic fail status as his case manager. I wasn’t
thinking straight, not for any aspect of my life. What was wrong
with me? I really felt terrible.
    “ No, not yet. I promise
you. I won’t break that, not to you. Is that okay? “
    “ I’m a complete idiot.” I
wasn’t really thrilled with his answer, but he was right. I was
completely neglecting the fact that he had almost died. That alone
had to have a huge impact on how he felt about life and not what
existed before he met me. I was almost ashamed of
myself.
    “ No, you’re not, not at
all. You’re entitled to want to know who’s living with you. Let’s
not let it ruin our entire day. It’s been wonderful and I just want
it to continue. Please don’t feel badly. “
    “ I’ll try?” I squeaked out.
It wasn’t convincing at all.
    “ How about a little smile
for me? I’ll wrestle you if you don’t.” He looked like he was going
to pounce on me, so I gave him an all-teeth-grin, which probably
made me look like I was in pain.
    “ I’ll take it. But I still
might have at you for some fun,” he said.
    We headed downstairs, hand in hand.
Dinner was not as lively as our day in the park had been. We were
mostly quiet, occasionally sharing a smile with each other over
forkfuls of food. I wasn’t sure if he was afraid to say anything so
as not to start another fight. Maybe it was only because we were
watching a movie during dinner. I would look up at him, only to
always find him