of worship, making it swell and grow like the ocean tide. But only Mother sang with the voice of the Goddess herself.
When Jai’s turn came and the labyrinth pulled her in she raised her hands in terror at first, but then the Moon called to her and opened her mouth, andshe joined her song in with the others’. Her fair hair reflected the moonlight and torchlight, shining gold and silver at the same time. Her body looked very thin and her scars glowed red against her white skin. As soon as she took the first step her hands flew out to the sides and she began to spin. Slowly at first, a little way into the labyrinth, but then with more and more force. The swing of the song went on. How could she not touch a stone if she kept spinning like that? I was the only one left who had not sung yet and I wanted to rush out and stop Jai. But Mother carried on singing loudly and steadily while the women and the girls lowered their voices and sang Jai through the labyrinth. She was spinning so quickly her hair whipped her in the face, and her movements became a blur. When she reached the middle she sped up even more, which I would not have thought possible. She spun until the sand whirled around her feet, until the torch flames flailed, until the Moon came down and kissed her flying hair. Sisters and novices sang and sang and Jai sang too, and together they all sang her out of the labyrinth again.
She had not touched a single stone.
My turn came last. When I took the first step of the dance my voice burst into song involuntarily. Iheard it ringing in my ears but I was not aware of my mouth forming sounds. I felt the warmth of the torch flames on my skin, but I could not see them. All I saw was the Moon.
She was enormous now. So close that if I stretched out my hand I could touch her cool cheek. She filled my whole vision, filled me with her music. Now I understood: it was about life and death. I gave up my body to the song and let it dance me into the labyrinth.
I had danced this dance before and always felt the Moon’s energy flood over me and leave me feeling wild, empowered and free. But this time it was different. The Moon was bigger than ever before. Her energy was making the air vibrate. The moonlight pulsed so that everything around me seemed to flicker. The women outside the labyrinth, the rocks around us, the dark sea—everything was blurred and warped, like looking through the bottom of a bottle of Vallerian wine. The song continued to steer my steps and each one was solid and precise; I did not touch a stone.
Something loomed large in the centre of the labyrinth. In the vibrating, trembling night it was the only thing whose form was fixed and clear.
It was a door, tall and narrow and silver in the bright moonlight. It was closed, but I could sense the darkness that waited on the other side. Darkness so deep not even the light of the Moon could penetrate it. It was the door from the hunger winter, and behind it the Crone was waiting.
I was gripped by a fear that cut through the trance and the song, and I tried in vain to stop my steps. The dance was taking me closer and closer to the door. I could not tear my eyes away from it. I had never seen it so clearly before. I could see that the frame was blackened with age, but the surface of the door was shimmering. I could see the handle, shaped like a snake with onyx eyes. The door was all too familiar. I did not want to see it, I did not want to acknowledge it existed, but my eyes refused to look away and my legs refused to obey me. A stream of air flowed out through the crack underneath the door and coiled around my calves. The rancid breath of the Crone. It mixed with the metallic smell of blood from my own skin. The smell of death that has clung to me for years, ever since the hunger winter. Since the Crone took Anner.
My jaws ached from trying to hold back the song and my body jerked from the strain of trying to staveoff the dance. I was getting closer, so close that