The Scarecrow by Ronald Hugh Morrieson Page A

are. Lotta people give their left, er eye, hrmp, sorry Athol, be where we are. Why? ’Stablished. Thas why. ’Stablished. Regards.’
    ‘Yoo-hoo, my dewy rose. Stiffasaboard. Great Scott. Aflame with desire and so on. With passion undiminished, etcetera, etcetera. Dabney, the vagabond lover.’
    This dewy rose stuff finished me. I felt quite unable to withstand any more of that. I crawled into Herbert’s bed by thewindow. Herbert was always late and we had an understanding. Herbert only had one ambition and that was to prove correct once and for all that a good billiard player really was the outcome of a mis-spent youth. I heard the cop say, ‘I’ll see Miss Potroz home,’ and I heard Charlie Dabney yoo-hooing away and saying, ‘Great Scott, the lights won’t go out all night.’ But my lights went out. A guy I have a lot of regard for switched them off at the main.

Chapter Six

    The next day was more to be noted in the minds of my buddy, Les Wilson, and myself for a visit from Constable Ramsbottom than because it was Prudence’s birthday. After school we were sitting down on boxes by the empty hen-coop (something we were very good at) when the shadow of the Law fell across us.
    He joined us cosily, sitting down on the coop itself, and proceeded, forthwith, to ask whether we were or were not going to prefer charges against one described as Athol C. Cudby, for appropriating our joint property, to wit the missing Black Orpingtons.
    When my heart stopped free-wheeling I said, no I wasn’t. We looked at Les and he said, no, he wasn’t, either.
    ‘On the ‘ole,’ said Len Ramsbottom, ‘Oi think you’re woize, very woize. In the hadministration of joostis, occasions aroisewhen more ’arm than good can be done by prosecuting the mally-factor.’
    While not getting the full drift of this, I had a feeling I was on his side.
    ‘More ‘arm than good,’ he continued, heavily contemplative. ‘In this hinstance, the noime of the family must be considered. I ‘ave no doubt that yeruncle, in fact he has avowed his intention of so doing to me, will reimburse you for the loss of the purloined poultry.’
    Just because our mouths fell open he must have thought we were going to say something for he stayed us with a large palm.
    ‘As an officer of the law it is my duty to apprehend and bring to joostis thuh criminals in our midst. I want it understood that should any further hevidence come to light implicating Cudby, Mr Cudby, in other and more serious crimes a prosecution will himmediately fah-hollow.’
    ‘Officer,’ I said boldly, ‘have there been other fowls stolen beside mine and Les’s?’
    ‘On Saturday, the noight uv the ther-rud, a large-scale robbery was perpetrated at the ’omestead uv Mr Alfred Lynch. A considerable number of pedigree birds, broody resistant, were appropriated and so far there has been no trace uv them.’
    ‘Birds?’ said Les. ‘What sorta birds? Budgies?’
    ‘Poultry,’ came the stern reply. ‘A number of valuable one-year fowls in full lay, broody resistant. No heffort will be spared to trace the miscreants. Suspicion fell on Cudby, Mr Cudby, because for some weekends past it has come to our knowledge he has been raffling killed and dressed poultry in the bars of local hotels. He avows that, with the exception of your own fowls, he poichased all the birds at Klynham Traders andthere is hevidence to support this. In haddition, the hevidence of Mr Lynch seems to point to this particular robbery being perpetrated by younger and more active men.’
    ‘How do you mean evidence?’ said Les and I.
    ‘The culprits escaped at great speed. Mr Lynch avers that there were possibly two or even three thieves involved. Mr Lynch is sure in his own mah-hind that they were young men and very active and fast on their feet. One of them scaled a six-foot fence and the other members of the gang thought nothing of jumping row after row of goo-hoosberry bushes.’
    ‘There must be clues,