avert my gaze and look straight ahead, not breaking
my stare until I’m outside on the sidewalk. I have no idea whether or not Guy
is behind me until I feel his hand tap me on the shoulder.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I
snap. “I just didn’t want to stay, that’s all. I have to get home because it’s
late.” I make a show of looking at my watch, and shaking my head. On my present
performance if I entered Nerd Olympics I could well be in the running for a
medal.
“Sure,” he says
shrugging. We walk in silence to the car. All I can think about is: what’s Guy
going to say if he finds out my whole life since moving here has been based on
one big fat lie?
***
“Oh Maddie, it
was awful. I’ve been in some sticky situations before but this has to be the
worst ever ever ever. My entire life flashed before my eyes. Worse than
drowning I reckon. I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole. It was so
embarrassing I didn’t know what to do. And he just stood there staring at me as
if—”
“Whoa, girl.
Breathe.”
Breathe? That’s
a laugh. It’s easy for her to say breathe when she’s not involved.
“I am, it’s just
that—”
“Suzy,” she
bellows in my ear before I have chance to finish. I hold the phone out in front
of me and stare at it. She’s still coming over loud and clear, despite the distance
between the phone and my ear. “Breathe. Do you hear me?” I nod my head. “I
said, do you hear me?”
“Yes. Yes. I
hear you. The whole world can hear you you’re shouting so much.” I sigh very
loudly to make my point. “I’m breathing. Okay? But that’s not going to help me
if Ryan decides to blurt out my secret to everyone is it?” I pace up and down
the room, running my fingers through my hair, until they get stuck in a knot
and I end up yanking out a handful and squealing in pain.
“And you think
he’s likely to tell?”
“How the hell do
I know? Why not? He’s got nothing to lose.”
“And nothing to
gain.”
“Apart from
getting me back for not contacting him. This is going to screw up my whole life
I just know it.” I tear up and roughly wipe them away with the back of my hand.
I’m not a cry baby so why they’ve decided to fall now I’ve no idea. Unless it’s
a premonition of the bad things to come.
“Suzy, you need
to think rationally. I remember him from camp. He’s a sweet guy. He won’t drop
you in it. And anyway, he doesn’t know all about your lies.”
“Lie,” I
correct. “Just the one. Even if it is like the hugest lie in the history of
time.” Okay, so I’m not normally prone to melodrama (well, in my eyes I’m not.
Maddie would probably disagree) but really this situation would lead even the
most reserved person ever to over-the-top behavior.
“Well it is
bigger than most, I have to agree with you there.”
“You don’t say.”
Maddie starts to
giggle. “Sorry. It’s not funny. It’s just that why do these things happen to
you all the time?”
She’s not wrong.
I think I have a sign above my head saying ‘all trouble walk this way’.
“Yeah, but
there’s trouble and there’s trouble. And if this lie gets out my life is
ruined.” A sob escapes my lips. I sit on the end of my bed and lean forward,
resting my arms on my knees.
“Oh, Suzy. Don’t
cry. It’ll be okay. We just have to work out a plan.” The concern in Maddie’s
voice gets me even more and I launch into a fully blown cry-attack.
“Sorry,” I say
between sniffs. “Come on. Wow me with your failsafe plan.”
Chapter
Eleven
“I didn’t say I
had a plan,” Maddie says.
“Yes you did. I
heard you. And now you’re telling me you don’t have one. So what is it? Do you
or don’t you have a plan?”
“I don’t.”
“So what the
hell am I to do then?” I ask through clenched teeth, anger and frustration
replacing my tears.
“First you go to
the side of your bed, pull out a tissue from the box on the bedside table, wipe
your eyes and calm