The Serenity Murders by Mehmet Murat Somer Page A

eyebrows, Lulu. I wasn’t able to rein backin the anger I had intended for Hüseyin. Bushy-eyebrows Lulu took a step back.
    “Slow down,
abla
…” she said, in a deep dark bass voice, the exact opposite of Hasan’s high-pitched shriek.
    “Sorry…” I said. I raised my eyebrows in inquiry.
    “There’s someone asking for you downstairs…”
    The dull, surly, expressionless look on this girl was inexplicable. She always moved as few muscles as possible so as not to ruin her makeup or develop wrinkles. She was like the Sphinx; sometimes she’d speak without moving her eyes, barely opening her mouth. And she’d make fun of herself, saying, “Everyone else has Botox done, whereas mine is natural,
abla
.” I’ve always wondered what she was like in bed. If it was anything like I imagined, it was awfully hilarious. Without even batting an eyelash, or opening her mouth too wide…
    I must have looked blank, because she felt the need to explain.
    “Hasan is here with you, and Şükrü Ağabey couldn’t leave the bar, so…I had to come up to let you know.”
    “Who is it?”
    “How should I know,
abla
? He asked for you, not for me.”
    Although she had previously proven that she did not actually have shit for brains, by behaving in this way from time to time she planted a seed of doubt: Or
did
she? With those terribly blank looks, that expressionless face, her finger-thick black eyebrows which she refused to dye despite her corn-silk hair, her right leg bent at the knee, and her men’s size-nine feet shooting out the front and back of her shiny silver-strapped high-heel shoes, one of which she leaned sideways on, she looked like an imbecile.
    “Don’t look at me like that,
ayol,
abla
,” she said, uncomfortable at the way I was looking her up and down. “I’m not well, you know…”
    To indicate she was unwell, she stroked her hair with her lefthand, and then, putting her body weight on her other foot, leaned sideways on her left shoe. If she went on leaning sideways on her shoes like that, her heels wouldn’t last.
    “Okay. I’ll be down in a minute,” I said.
    “Shall I wait?”
    Why! Oh, why!
    “No, darling,” I said, emphasizing the “darling.” “You go downstairs. I’ll be right there.”
    “Okay, but what do I say to the guy?”
    I summoned patience and took a deep breath.
    “Tell him I’ll be down…”
    She turned around and headed down the stairs, taking each and every step with great caution. She turned again on the second step and called out to me.
    “Please don’t be long. I have a potential customer. I don’t want to be stuck with your guy…”
    I turned to Hasan and asked, “Deal?”
    “Deal? What deal? I mean, did you tell me all this so I could warn everyone, or so I’d shut my mouth and find a place to hide?”
    It was charming that he was so in tune with himself.
    “You decide!” I said, as I turned around and walked out.
    Strangely enough, it was that square-faced police chief Hilmi Kuloğlu. He stood in front of the bar holding a glass of whiskey on the rocks, looking around, his eyes peeled. He was wearing a poorly tailored dark suit. Not to mention the white shirt and tie.
    “Hello,” I said, taking utmost advantage of the fact that we were on my turf, my very own queenly realm.
    “To tell you the truth, I’m rather surprised,” he said, referring to the current setting.
    I gave him a polite, regal smile.
    “Chief ordered me to inform you should we find anything. It may not be all that important, but there are a couple of things.”
    He downed half the whiskey in a single gulp. He’d be footing his own bill if he failed to convey any useful information.
    It became clear to me instantly: He was there to see the place. To quench his curiosity. And instead of any real dirt, he was going to hand me crumbs, just for the sake of his curiosity.
    “Please, let’s go upstairs to my office,” I said.
    He swallowed his remaining whiskey, left his glass at the bar,