The Ten Best Days of My Life by Adena Halpern Page B

these fire engines. Evidently, there was some kind of short in the wiring in the house and the whole place caught on fire. Mr. and Mrs. Oppenheim had some burns, and Alice’s brother, Butch, got really bad burns on his leg and chest. He was in the hospital for a long time, but he was fine eventually. My mom and I ran into him once at Famous 4th Street Deli. I had heard about the family so many times that seeing Butch was like seeing someone who had been in a favorite movie of mine. You know how that is? Anyway, when he saw my mom, he didn’t start to cry or anything, but he said really softly, “She’d be married by now. She’d probably have a daughter like yours.”
    Isn’t that sad?
    My mom put her arm around him. I was like eleven or twelve at the time. I just acted like I didn’t know what was going on, even though I did.
    Anyway, Alice died in the fire. My mom said it was the first funeral she had ever been to. She’d never known anyone else who died. Every now and then Mom would talk about Alice. They had this ridiculous ongoing feud about some crinolines that my mom took from Alice’s house.
    Come to think of it, my mom would probably want me to call up her old friend. She’d probably appreciate it.
    I go into the kitchen, pick up the phone, and dial 411.
    â€œThis is 411 heaven connect, what plane please?”
    What plane? It follows me everywhere.
    â€œUh, hi, I assume seventh heaven, the number for an Alice Oppenheim?”
    I hear the operator typing.
    â€œI have three Alice Oppenheims: one who died in 1482, another in 1823, and one in 1953.”
    â€œUm, 1953.”
    â€œHold for the connection.”
    That was kind of fun.
    â€œHello?” I hear the voice say.
    â€œUh, hi, is this Alice Oppenheim from Philadelphia?”
    "Yes it is.”
    â€œHi, Alice, uh, you don’t know me. I’m the daughter of a friend of yours. I’m Maxine Firestein’s daughter, Alex?”
    â€œOh go away! No way! Maxine had a daughter? How fantastic! How’s your mom?”
    â€œOh, she’s great. She married my dad and they had me. I’m sure she’s a little upset right now, you know, I died recently, but otherwise she’s great.”
    â€œShe got married?” Alice asks like it’s the craziest thing. “Who’d she marry?”
    â€œBill Dorenfield.”
    â€œShe married Bill Dorenfield, that lady slayer?” she laughs. “I remember him, what a player! He was friends with my brother, Butch. Not great friends, your dad was kind of a hard guy. Of course he married your mom, she’s so his type. She’s gorgeous. Is she still gorgeous?”
    â€œOh yes,” I tell her, but I’m still stuck on the fact that she thought my dad was a hard guy, too. Did that guy ever let up?
    â€œYour mom was always the prettiest one in the class.”
    â€œShe still is.”
    â€œDid she ever tell you about the time she stole all my crinolines?”
    â€œYes, she told me.”
    â€œI’m sure she said that she left me one. That was always her excuse.”
    â€œYeah, well, I guess I’ll have to hear your side of the story.”
    â€œOh, another time for that story. Let’s see, I’d be about sixty-nine or seventy years old by now so, gosh, she’s old.”
    â€œShe is, but she doesn’t look seventy.”
    â€œI hear that. Seventy is the new fifty, fifty is the new thirty, blah blah. I aged to thirty because I didn’t want to stay sixteen forever, and I’m glad I did, but I didn’t want to go beyond that.”
    â€œI’m twenty-nine!”
    â€œGet out! How’d you die?”
    â€œCar hit me.”
    â€œOh, what a shame, sorry to hear that. Sorry for your mom.”
    â€œYeah,” I say, concluding the catching up. “So listen, I don’t really know anyone here except my grandparents and my uncle. My mom always talked about you and what