To Catch a Creeper by Ellie Campbell Page A

waiter fills our glasses, ‘some people in the office say I’m a real letch. Not true. But let them think it. In many ways it puts me in good standing.’
    ‘How so?’
    ‘Everyone assumes I know more than I actually do,’ he laughs before sipping his wine and nodding his approval to the waiter. ‘They believe I have the ears and eyes of every female in the industry. No-one dares say too much about me – just in case.’ He gives a strange hollow laugh. ‘Little do they know. Boy oh boy.’
    ***
    An hour later. We’ve finished our meal and are propped up at the bar side by side on high stools.
    ‘…only been one person I’ve ever truly truly loved,’ Turks slurs.
    ‘Your wife?’ I sip my White Russian, relishing its creamy taste.
    ‘I’m not married.’ His face is now quite ruddy and he’s leaning against a pillar with his elbow which keeps flopping down when he puts too much weight against it. (His elbow not the pillar.)
    ‘But I thought…’ I’m positive Rosa told me he was married.
    ‘Always been a bachelor. Probably always will.’
    ‘What about the girl – the one you loved?’
    ‘Didn’t love me back.’ A flash of pain streaks across his face before he takes his third glug of brandy. ‘Schtill, water under the bridge, eh, darling. All too late. Keep it under your hat.’ He pats his Stetson which is perched on his head at a jaunty angle. Did I mention that he always but always wears a cowboy hat?
    ‘Of course I will.’ I pat my bare hair.
    ‘You realise Cathy, Cath Cath,’he taps at my knuckles with the tips of his fingers like he’s playing a little tune. Maybe Yankee Doodle, but I can’t be certain,‘since Rosa’sbeen in hospital, you’re the only person I trust round Younger’s. And,’ he shuts one eye and leans towards me, ‘I think you can take on more than you’re taking on.’
    ‘No, no.’ I begin shaking my head robustly, which is not a good idea as Turks isn’t the only one who’s had a few too many bevvies. ‘I’m rushed off my–’
    ‘Don’t say, no, no, no, no, no.’ He pats my shoulder in a fatherly way. ‘I’m not saying pile the work onto you. I’m saying…change your work.’
    ‘Change my work? You mean take me off the boring brochure stuff?’ I say hopefully.
    ‘Yesh,’ he slurs again. ‘I’ve hired another recruit to the department. Trainee. Name’s Honour. Newly graduated. Bit of a boffin but seems very keen. Wasn’t clear in my mind how she might fit in, but now…’ He clicks twice with his tongue and gives a slow wink. So slow it takes a good few seconds before the lid lifts again.
    ‘So she’s going to work with me?’
    ‘Under you, my dear,’ he smiles through watery eyes. ‘What you were saying, the other day, it made sense. Woman on the street.’ He crosses his fists like they do on the X factor. ‘Power to the housewife!’ He stops and seems to think a moment. ‘You know what, little Cathy, Cath Cath. I’m gonna give you and Rosa the RNW account.’
    ***
    ‘Babes, what are you doing here?’ A dressing gown clad Rosa opens the door of her Islington flat and glances after the black cab that’s speeding away.
    ‘Bye Terry!’ I call after it. ‘Hello darling.’ I kiss her cheek and waft in like Elizabeth Taylor might.
    ‘It’s two o’clock,’ she smiles and follows me down the hall. ‘Why aren’t you working?’
    ‘Sacked me, didn’t they?’
    ‘Not again.’ She laughs and so do I. It’s our little joke. With the success of our campaign earlier this year, our jobs are rock solid.
    ‘Turks gave me the rest of the afternoon off.’ I follow her into her sparkling clean kitchen with its pristine work-surfaces and immaculate tiles. Everything’s new and glossy, like the rest of her flat. She bought it when she was single and living with us while the builders refurbished it, but by the time they’d finished, her and Alec had become a couple. ‘I went out to lunch with him. Had a few drinks.’
    Her head