Tremor of Intent by Anthony Burgess Page A

income, I read, amounted to something like two million lire a week; Martinuzzi was lucky to get half of that sum a year. All right, Martinuzzi was the enemy, but to whom do you think I felt closer? My very good fiend, Brigitte might have said. I spent some of my own few million lire on arranging for the adoption of the remaining two of the enemy’s children; both need the most delicate plastic surgery. I don’t mind games, but when they get too dirty I don’t think I want to play any more.
    You won’t receive this letter, for this letter has not been written. But, if I get Roper back to you, and if you do to Roper what I fearyou will, despite the promises in the letters in my coat-lining, I shall at least have rehearsed some of the content of his defence. The time is now two minutes to four. I shall forgo tea and a tabnab and not eat much dinner. To my satyriasis I say ‘Down, sir, down.’ I must be fit for the day after tomorrow, recognising my duty to my retirement. A little nap now, then. As ever, or rather
not
as ever, D.H. (729).

Two
1
    Dry within, wet without, Hillier awoke. It was really very hot. He had lain down on his bunk in his old grey holiday Daks and a green sleeveless Luvisca shirt; now the shirt was soaked and the slacks felt clammy. He was also aware of the smell of himself. Adam had awakened to the scents of a garden; fallen Adam in his early forties was greeted, as a kind of smell-track to painful light, by tobacco-smoke woven into his skin and a vague effluvium of sour meat-juice, also – like a space-traveller freely floating outside, but not too far outside, his capsule – an externalisation of his own breath: burnt potato and tannery. Hillier got up, tasting his mouth and frowning. He should have switched on the electric fan. He did so now, stripping. The coolness exorcised that small bad dream he’d had – the buffeting with rose-branches, the yelling crowd, his breathless crawling up a road that grew steadily hillier. That, of course, was a dream of his own name; the huge coil of rope he’d been carrying was explained by the name of his quarry. He should by rights have dreamed of new names – a hunter and an island.
    He surveyed himself naked in the dressing-table mirror. The body still looked as if it were for use, pretty lean. But he had the impression that it now wanted to sag under the stress of an adventurous past whose record was scored on the flesh-wound-scars, the pitting of an old disease. On his left flank was an indelible brand, a literal one. Soskice, who had eventually been smashed, dying cursing, had watched and grinned with all his blue and yellow teethwhile the white-hot iron had been applied. ‘S,’ he had lisped. ‘A signature on one of my lesser works, your body mangled, though not mangled to the pitch of unrecognisability.’ Strapped to the chair, Hillier had tried to impose another meaning on the brand as, in its mirror-form, it slowly descended. His mother’s name – Sybil. That would do. Welcome it, welcome it, he had told his body as Soskice’s executioner voluptuously delayed the searing impact. And then. Yearn to it, desire it, he had counselled his skin. It’s a poultice, it’s good for you. He had not screamed, feeling the intolerable bite, the pain itself S-shaped. The S had hissed into his very bowels, the sphincter – weakest of all the muscles – bidding them open to expel the snake whose body was all teeth. Soskice had been disgusted, but no more so than Hillier. ‘I didn’t mean that,’ Hillier had moaned.’ I apologise.’ And they had left him for a time in his mess, delaying the consummation. And that delay had (oh, it was a long story bringing in a man called Kosciusko) saved his life. The S now stared back from the mirror, the reversed S of the brand itself. A spectacular thing to carry into retirement. Many a woman had commented on it, tracing the