Tristan's Loins by Karolyn Cairns Page B

I’m
being punished for it. You’re not locked in your room, even if you
wrote this. I can hear her crying at night sometimes. It sounds
like she is far away, even if she is only at the other side of this
castle. I feel her pain like nothing else."
    "You can hear crying?" Selene asked,
wondering if he heard her and not his intended bride. She had been
weepy of late, with the divorce looming. Some nights she had cried
herself to sleep this last week, not thinking he could hear her in
the next room.
    "Yes, I hear her crying and know I’m the
cause."
    Selene knew for a fact Tristan had indeed
heard her and not Rhiannon. The girl was out in the abyss beyond
the hall outside his room, as was everyone else in her novel, much
like another dimension.
    "You must be patient, Tristan. I want to make
this perfect for you. I failed so badly up until now. You must
trust me."
    He smiled sadly. "Do I have any choice?
You’re all I have right now. Angering you was unwise. You could
leave my world and leave me here in the dark forever."
    "In the dark? What do you mean?"
    "It is dark, here, Selene," Tristan
explained, his arms clasped around behind his back. "When you’re
not here, it gets so dark I cannot see my hand in front of my face.
It is quiet too, not even the sounds of night are heard beyond
these walls."
    "I don't understand."
    Tristan shrugged. "I’m not afraid of the
dark. It matches my feelings. However, in truth, I have begun to
have fear for the first time in my false existence. I’m afraid this
will be my fate."
    Selene felt tears spring to her eyes,
thinking of him trapped in the dark in the cold abyss that was
outside the room, and alone. She felt the tears falling, knowing
she could do nothing but finish repairing the damage she had
done.
    "I'm sorry, Tristan," she whispered. "I had
no idea what it was like for you there."
Tristan looked up and his expression seemed amused. "I have not
gone hungry, Selene. In truth, I have come to like your pizza. I
could eat of it daily and never tire of it. Is that what they eat
every day in your world?"
    "No, just once in a while," she said with a
laugh. "I'd be as fat as a cow if I ate like that every day."
    He mused at her words, smiling. "What do you
look like, Selene?"
    His question surprised her. "Normal I
suppose."
    "No, describe yourself." Tristan went to sit
at the table and partake of more orange juice. "Describe yourself
as you would in your letters please. I would see you."
    "I’m five foot seven inches tall," she began
and shrugged. "I have brown hair and brown eyes. I’m of medium
build, not fat and not too skinny."
    "That was an awful description, Selene."
Tristan rolled his eyes. "You give me the visual of half the
serving wenches I have seen in this castle."
    Selene felt her irritation rising. What did
he expect her to say? She wrote glowing descriptions of everyone
but her. "What do you wish me to say?"
    "Are you fair as a rose or as ugly as a
troll? Do you have breasts like pillows or empty flour sacks?" He
chuckled at her sudden silence. "Are your lips as soft as petals,
or do you have a wart in the center of your-"
    "Enough, I get it!" she cried, surprised at
the warm, excited feeling she got from his words. "That is fair.
You wish to know what I look like."
    "It would be nice to put a face to the
voice," he concluded and smiled.
    "I have been told I'm pretty and have nice,
smooth skin," she said and paused. "I have large brown eyes, not so
much dark as golden. My breasts are certainly not to your
standards, but they are big enough in my estimation. My teeth are
straight and I have no warts. There, are you satisfied?"
    He closed his eyes as he rocked back in his
chair, obviously trying to form a picture of her in his mind. It
was obvious by his pleased expression, whatever images he had of
her were intriguing to him.
    Selene watched his face, seeing his lips,
overwhelmed with wanting to know what they felt like, to kiss him
as she had Axel. He was not real, she