Trust (Chasing Shadows) by Mia Fox Page B

tongue was already weaving into her mouth as I carried her to a patch of grass and laid her down.

Chapter 35 - Ella
     
     
    I was only vaguely aware of the grass tickling my back or the few misplaced pebbles that threatened my comfort. None of that mattered when I was held by Nate and he was so real against me.
    I knew that this wouldn’t last forever. Already, our time together was becoming less and I knew it was directly related to how my mind opened up to the possibility of being with Ethan. It was the universe’s way of righting a wrong and I suppose, keeping me safe from any thoughts of self-harm.
    The nights without Nate immediately following his death gave way to a troubled mind, but Ethan had slowly healed me and made me realize that I had reason to go on living. Actually, not just living, but maybe I even had a right to find happiness again. This journey was taken with one purpose in mind: to challenge myself to go on living without Nate. I never expected my thoughts to trek through a journey of their own.
    This mountainside wasn’t just the unpredictable wild; it was my salvation.
    Instinctively, I knew that this time with Nate was fleeting. Even though he hadn’t exactly told me how long he would be with me, at least not in days or hours, I knew that answer. “Until you don’t need me,” he once said.
    “I miss you,” I whispered against his mouth, wanting to relish this moment.
    He answered by slowly trailing kisses along my lower lip and down to my jawline and even lower to my neck, where his attention then moved to my breast, which he cupped with his hand. I pressed my own hand firmly against his, showing him that I didn’t want him to let go. And then, even bolder, I took his hand and led it lower down my stomach and lower still.
    When he finally touched me between my legs, I audibly sighed. “Oh Nate, I need you.”
    Still, he moved his hand ever so gently...slowly. It was as if he felt afraid that the moment would morph out of our reality. I felt the same way, but I didn’t have his restraint. My heart rate accelerated in response and words tumbled out of me. “Please don’t stop. Don’t you dare leave me this time.”
    Even though I wanted to climb on top of him and take this to the next level, I also feared what would happen when our passion came to its natural conclusion. I wanted this moment in time to last. So for now, I put all distracting thoughts out of my head and just concentrated on the fact that Nate had me in his strong arms. I let him control the situation.
    His hand moved against the outside of my panties as our kisses became more frenzied. When he gave a little tug of frustration on the elastic that held them, I shimmied my hips back and forth to aid his quest.
    A devilish glint appeared in his green eyes making them seem brighter than usual. “You better hope there’s no poison oak out here.”
    My own mischievous smile greeted him as I threw the small patch of fabric aside. “I’ll take my chances.”
    “I don’t want to take any chances with your happiness or comfort.”
    With that, Nate’s muscled arms lifted me onto his lap as if I were a tiny doll. He held me firmly against him and I felt the need build within me even stronger. Running my hands along his biceps, feeling my chest pressed against his chiseled broadness, and his hardness that strained against his jeans were making me feel dizzy. Our mouths never separated and our hands held each other in place until I couldn’t take it any longer. I let my hands drift from where they had weaved into his wavy brown hair to his jeans. There, I lowered the zipper carefully and sharply inhaled my breath upon feeling his hardness in my hands, ready for me.
    “Oh Ella,” he uttered.
    I couldn’t respond. I was too absorbed in what it felt like to have my legs wrapped around him with his manhood erect and against me. Slowly, I took him in my hands and led him up and down the length of me.
    It didn’t matter that we