Un-Connected by Noah Rea

me.  I love you and I haven’t cheated on you.  I want
you to love me and not cheat on me like you promised when we got married.  If
you can’t do that then you really don’t love me.”
                “I
do love you.  I wish you would quit saying I don’t love you because I do.”
                “Do
you love those other women? Do you love me but love them too?”
                “He
stammered.  “I don’t want to hurt you.  I want…””
                “I
interrupted him.  “Do you love those other women?””
                “He
didn’t answer for a few seconds.  “I don’t love them like I love you but they
are really good friends and they are there for me when I need them.  I…””
                “I
interrupted him again.  “Will you quit having sex with them?””
                “He
stammered, “I don’t have sex with them.””
                “I
was really weak and unconvincing.”
                “Yes
you are I can tell by your answer.  Plus you were seen going into places with
these women where you have no business going if you are married.  Quit lying to
me.  What are you going to do?  Will you quit seeing them or not?”
            “He paused and took a deep breath.  “Yes I will quit seeing them.””
                “We
both sat there in silence for a few minutes.” 
                “I
will have to go see them one more time and explain what is happening.”
                “I
raised my voice and said, “No you don’t have to.  You can call them or I will
call them.  It will take me about ten seconds to explain you don’t want to see
them or hear from them any longer.””
                “He
just sat there and looked at me.  “Okay, I will do it but I’m not doing it
setting here with you listening.””
                “I
want us to both go to counseling.” I said.  “I’m willing to change.  I want to
be the woman you want but I don’t know what to do except for us to go to
counseling so we can work this out.”
                ““Okay. 
I will go.” He said.”
                “I
sat there for a few minutes and then got up and went to start dinner.  He went
out on the front porch and I could hear him talking in a low voice.  I couldn’t
hear what he said but it wasn’t a short call like it would have been had I made
the call.”
    “Eventually he came in.  He wasn’t happy and
he wasn’t warm.  I didn’t know where our marriage was headed.  I had supper
about ready when he came in.”
                “If
you will wash up and get our drinks I should have it on the table.”
                “Okay.”
He answered quietly.  It sounded like he had made a deal he wasn’t happy with. 
If he wasn’t then we weren’t going to make it.”
                “When
he got to the table with our drinks he pulled out my chair to be nice to me.  I
thanked him and we sat down to eat.  Nothing was said for probably ten
minutes.  He always ate faster than me and he was about done.”
                “I
need more sex.” He said.  “I love you and want our marriage to work but I need
you more than you are available.”
    “I will be available.  I will leave a job
anytime you want and meet you at the house.”
    “He agreed to try that.  So for the next
month or more I was available whenever he wanted.  Sometimes I enjoyed him and
sometimes I didn’t but I wanted to make our marriage work.”
    “I found the best counselor I could and paid
him $250 an hour.  I went twice and Larry never showed up either time.  The
counselor wanted me to realize it was partly my fault but very little in
comparison and mostly his fault.  I had so many doubts about myself.  I felt
like such a failure.  I felt ugly and was sure I was a big loser.  I was