Un-Connected by Noah Rea Page A

so
lonely I ached all over.  During the worst times I had this big ache in the pit
of my stomach.  Sometimes I couldn’t eat and my face broke out terribly.  I was
a mess.  I didn’t sleep well either.”
    “But after about two months dad saw him with
his “regular” girl friend again.  When I asked him about it he admitted it and
said he couldn’t be a one woman man.  I asked why he wouldn’t go to counseling
with me.””
                “He
never gave me an answer.”
                “If
you aren’t going to be my man and keep the promise you made when we got married
then you need to move out.”
                “He
moved to the living room and sat on the sofa for awhile.  Every now and then he
would shake his head “no” very faintly.  By the time I finished eating and got
the kitchen cleaned up he had made up his mind.  When I walked into the living
room he got up and said he was sorry.  He went to our bedroom and packed a
couple of bags and left.”
    “It is hard to this day to trust a man.  I
trust you because I see how much you loved Rebecca. But I’m also afraid to
trust you.”
                Then
she laughed.  “It is easier to trust a man when you lock him up in a truck all
day.”
                I
was surprised at her saying that.  “You wouldn’t trust me any other way?” I
asked. 
                “Yes
I would but I thought of that and thought it was funny.”
                “It
is but I hope it isn’t true for you and me.”
                “It
isn’t.” she said.
                “So
I had worked in the high end remodeling for a few years until no one was
putting more money in real estate. The housing market crashed.  Dad retired early
and is doing odd jobs for people.  He has a pickup truck and he can nearly
always make a few dollars helping someone haul something.   I didn’t know what
to do.  I was putting out resumes all over the place.  I was dressing up and
going to interviews but nothing was happening.  The economy was slowing down.  Linda
wasn’t having any closings.  It was bad.”
    “A few weeks after Larry moved out we decided
to sell the house.  I didn’t want to be in our house without him.  I called
Linda to list it and try to sell it.  If we could do that we could split the
equity.  After a couple of months I filed for divorce.  It was so hard.  I
didn’t sleep much for days before I filed and for days afterward.  After the
house was on the market over six months with few showings, he decided he wanted
the house.  I wanted to move in with my parents.  I had been staying with them
a lot anyway because I hurt so badly.  It was awful being in our house alone.  So
many things reminded me of us or him. 
    He got a loan and paid me seventy five
percent of the equity.  My lawyer said I could get it all but I didn’t think
that was fair.  I wanted him to have something.” 
    “I moved in with mom and dad.  It wasn’t the
way I wanted to live but I didn’t want to be by myself in an apartment right
then.  I intended to move out when I got over Larry but I needed a new job or
new career.  It was too much to deal with on my own.  There were so many people
and places I saw and places I went that reminded me of us together.  There was
no together any longer and all those things were a stab in the heart.”
    “I had been hit in the face with two big
traumas during the same time period.  I was so grateful to be mom and dad’s
girl again though it will never be the same as when I was a kid.  I wouldn’t
want it to be.  They tried to take care of me and set me up with dates and
things but it was too soon.  I still hurt too much.”
                “Dad’s
oldest brother Eddie had driven a truck at one time.  Dad got him to come over
and tell me about it to see if that might be something I was interested in.  I
liked the part about