Waiting for You by Shey Stahl Page B

Ken’s deal with
us boys was that he never wanted kids. I don’t say that to make you feel sorry
for us. I say that because it’s a fact. Drew was an accident and so was I. My
mom was seventeen when Drew was born; our dad was twenty-nine. That right there
seemed odd to me but again, that wasn’t his fault if you asked him. It was my
fault because Drew ruined his good time with his under-aged playmate. Over the
years, he blamed us for a lot of things because it was easier than blaming him.
    I’d like to tell you
that this never had a lasting effect on either of us but I’d probably be lying.
Drew turned to drugs; I got into trouble, bad trouble a few times.
    Like it or not, the
daddy who hated us, caused some unreserved anger at times.
    I have never been a
violent person for the most part but if provoked, yeah, I reacted like any
other person when pushed enough. When it came to douchebags, I reacted. My dad
was one of those douchebags. Of all the times Ken had laid a hand on either of
us, we never fought back. Drew did once, the day he left. For the most part, we
didn’t want him to see that we were affected by him.
    With all that came my
decision to leave. It happened graduation day. As I watched Bailey, a raging
grace of unspoken words, she was finally standing up for herself, something
inside me reacted too.
    For months, I had a bag
in my car, ready to leave at any time but for myself, I would graduate first.
Then when I heard her speech, it was decided for me.
    I was leaving that day.
At the time, I had no idea where that summer would take us and if you had told
me what I know now, that day, I wouldn’t have changed anything. Well, maybe a
few details but not a lot.
    Ken, more than likely
still drunk, walked over to my car after the ceremony. I was surprised he even
came to watch. Usually he was either at the bar or his office. Why he felt the
need to come to his son’s graduation was a mystery to me. “And where do you
think you’re going?” he said stumbling to my car.
    Part of me, the
stubborn eighteen-year-old didn’t want to tell him. The reality of it was that
it wasn’t his decision any longer. I had no more ties to him and hadn’t since
October when I turned eighteen and discovered that he had lied to me for years.
    “I’m leaving,” I said
to him preparing for his response and knowing it wouldn’t be taken lightly.
    “Why?” He seemed hurt
by the decision but I also knew deep down it meant nothing to him. I was simply
a tax deduction at this point.
    I shrugged appearing
distracted. I was distracted. I just wanted to get away from him and out of
this fucking town for good.
    “Tell me why you’re
leaving.” He pressed stepping closer. “Is it because of Drew?”
    My body tensed
naturally knowing his next move when I said. “Because it’s
time. You don’t need me here anymore. Now you can have your bottle but I
won’t be your excuse any longer.”
    “I can’t believe you.”
His tone took on a defensive pitch. “You fuck up my life for eighteen years and
now you’re just leaving. Just like your mom and brother? Are you going to see
Drew?”
    Shaking my head, I
tried to ignore him. This wasn’t a fight I wanted to have and it was none of
his business if I was going to see Drew or not.
    “You’re never going to
amount to anything with that shit music you play.”
    Ken knew the one thing
that would set me over the edge. He used it against me frequently. When I was
twelve, my uncle Eddy gave me an acoustic guitar for my birthday. When I got
into trouble at school, he made me watch as he burned it in the backyard. He
did shit like that. He took the one thing you loved and destroyed it.
    There was one thing I
took pride in and that was my music. Ken knew that. When he wanted a reaction
from me, he used that. I wasn’t trying to make a career out of it but it was
something I put all of myself into. He knew what it meant.
    “Fuck you,” I screamed
losing control. “You don’t know