Watch Me Walk Away by Jill Prand

today. I need to talk out the things between me and Bobby and Stuart. Maybe Brad can shed some light into the male point of view. I can’t ask John since he is friends with Bobby and will take his side. But Brad was never friends with Bobby and he doesn’t know Stuart so hopefully he will be able to be objective and help me.
    Brad is driving the boat and I have a seat beside him on the bench. He steers out into the river and I notice the channel has changed since the last time I was here. If you don’t know the channels you will run aground in this river. When we were younger we had to be pulled off a sandbar a few times until we learned how to navigate it. “When was the last time you were out here?”
    “Last time was for Labor Day. I spent the night with a date watching the fireworks on the bay,” he says.
    “Are you seeing someone?” I ask hopefully.
    “No it didn’t work out. We were together for about four months but it really wasn’t going anywhere. I didn’t love her. She didn’t measure up to my ideal,” he looks at me. “But I really want to know what’s going on with you? Did Bobby mess with your head again Friday? I saw you dancing with him and you looked uncomfortable.” He takes his hand off the wheel and puts it around my waist. “I would gladly knock him on his ass for you.”
    “He was trying to get me to go out with him but I told him I was with Stuart. I did agree to have lunch with him to catch up. He is calling me tomorrow.” I put my head on his shoulder and he squeezes me close. “I met Debbie for coffee yesterday and she told me I should hear him out. That he had reasons for what he did and he’s always loved me.”
    I feel Brad stiffen beside me, “How can she ask that of you knowing full well what you went through before? I will not stand by and let him hurt you again.”
    I put my hand on his chest, “It’s okay. I really need to see this through one way or the other. I think we both have unresolved issues that need closure. It’s just lunch in a public restaurant. I won’t be alone with him.”
    “And what does your boyfriend say about this?” He is almost growling now.
    “Wait,” I look up at him. “We need to get some things straight between us. I’m sorry that I screwed us up. I never should have asked you to be with me just because Bobby rejected me. I was angry and hurt but that did not give me the right to use you. It was not my intension to change our relationship and if I could go back to that night I would do it because I lost my best friend and I want him back.”
    “You didn’t lose me, Lisa. You could never lose me. Do I want more than friendship with you? Yes but I wanted that before we slept together. If all I can have is friendship, I’ll take it. Do I fantasize about you waking up one morning and seeing that Bobby is not worthy of your love? Hell yes because I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces of your heart again. And I owe you an apology too. After that night you needed me to be your friend and all I wanted was to be with you again. I couldn’t see that by not letting you heal first I was pushing you away. I wonder all the time if I had just stopped and not pushed you to give me what I wanted if somehow we could have eventually come together. So now I will be your friend because not having you in my life at all is worse.”
    The tears are running down my cheek and he pulls me into his arms. He doesn’t say anything else just rubs the back of my neck. Why can’t I love this guy? How can my heart want anyone else? I put my arms around his waist and hold tight which is a good thing because just then we run aground. The boat stops suddenly and we are pitched forward. Brad puts the engine in reverse but all that happens is brown silt is churned up by the outboard motor. Brad cuts the engine so we don’t burn it out.
    “Looks like we’re stuck here for a while,” he says as he puts his arms back around me. “High tide is in about an