Wayward Dreams by Gail McFarland Page B

both still new to this sister thing.
    â€œHey, Bianca?” Julia was focused on the world outside her car when her sister turned and looked at her. “Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you’d done things differently?”
    â€œAll the time. You?”
    â€œAll the time.” She bit at her bottom lip when Bianca smiled. “His name was Morris, and he was about the smartest man I ever met. You know how sexy smart can be?” Julia’s face glowed. “Mo had it in spades, and on top of that, he was sensitive and devoted. And did I say he was articulate and sexy? He wanted to get married. He wanted children, a dog, a house with a white picket fence, and me. He wanted neighborhood cookouts, kids in little league; he wanted to go to PTA meetings.” She snorted lightly. “Can you picture me at PTA meetings?”
    â€œMaybe…” Bianca wrinkled her nose. “What happened?”
    â€œI got the Inoue Fellowship. The University of Tokyo, a chance to leave my troubles behind and study in Japan—you remember. It was two years anybody would have killed for. Finishing at the top of my class got me the Inoue award—the money I used to get my business started. But he said he couldn’t wait that long.”
    â€œIt was for two years.”
    â€œThat’s what I said when he showed me that little ring,” Julia said bitterly. “He said the little ring was only a promise, that he would get me a bigger one for our fifth anniversary.”
    â€œBut you needed Japan…”
    â€œI thought of him constantly, from the moment I first entered the Nippon Budokan right up until my final exams. Then I stayed another year, and by the time I got back, he’d found someone else, and she was wearing that little ring.”
    â€œAre they still married?”
    Julia nodded miserably. “I don’t regret what I did.”
    â€œYes, you do.”
    â€œNot really. I wouldn’t have been able to do a lot of the things I’ve done without the background and contacts from that fellowship. I’ve done a lot of good with my business, made a lot of money, but I can’t help wondering what if?” Her smile held a moment, but then faded.
    â€œI never told anybody about him. I never told anybody about the ring I gave back or the babies that never were. I even miss the damned dog we never got. Knowing him, it would have been some kind of mutt.” Leaning, she bumped Bianca’s shoulder with her own, and her fingers moved, needing to touch her sister’s. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?”
    â€œI guess that just proves we’re really sisters.” Bianca opened her arms and her sister moved into her embrace. They sat that way for a long while, Julia letting herself be soothed.
    â€œYou still haven’t told me about you.”
    â€œDamn it.” Bianca’s arms dropped. “I knew this was coming. All of that sister stuff.” Bianca fell back in her seat. “There’s nothing to tell.”
    Drawing away from her sister, Julia crossed her arms and pouted. “You haven’t changed, you know that? You still keep yourself to yourself. I sit here and pour my heart out to you, tell you everything and you give nothing back. That’s selfish, and it says you still don’t trust me.”
    â€œI trust you.” Bianca’s pout matched Julia’s. “It’s me I’m not sure of.”
    â€œHe really hurt you, didn’t he?
    Bianca moved an eyebrow. “How do you say that monkey falling out of trees thing?”
    â€œ Saru mo ki kara ochiru. Maybe we need to find someone to help you get over him.”
    â€œPlease, I’ve fallen out of enough trees to last me for a lifetime.” Bianca made a rude sound with her mouth and turned her eyes to the passenger-side window. “I need a man like I need a hole in my head.”
    Julia couldn’t take it. “You