What God Has For Me by Pat Simmons Page A

moved on, but seeing him—happy with a family—made me
flash back to all the hurt I’ve tried to overcome.”
    Glancing over his shoulder, Zachary checked
on the children—both were asleep.
    When she looked at him, her eyes were glazed
over. Zachary hoped she wouldn’t start crying. “Do you think he’ll
want custody or visitation now that he sees that I’m happy?”
    He turned the ignition, but didn’t attempt to
drive off as he stared at Halcyon. “Are you… happy—really?”
    “Yes. I was…I mean I am, but that doesn’t
stop me from hurting. The blame is on me. I allowed him to use
me.”
 “Baby,” he reached for her hand and squeezed it. “You could
allow me to abuse you, but I never would. Just because you gave
Scott full access to your emotions, doesn’t give him the right to
play with you. You both shared in what went wrong in that
relationship. Halcyon Bridget Holland, you are one of the strongest
Black women I know. You knew when to get out while some women stay
in unhealthy situations for years. Give yourself some credit—you’re
a renewed creature in Christ. The past is just that. The more you
walk with Jesus, the farther away you’ll be from the hurt.”
    “I hear you… I just wish it would stick and
sink in.” She paused. “His wife complimented his own daughter and
Scott didn’t say a word. Does she know about us or not?”
    “That’s his drama. Not ours.” He shifted the
gear into drive, checked his rearview mirror, and drove off toward
Halcyon’s house. “Scott can be a part of the children’s lives, only
if he respects you, but he will no longer control your happiness.
That’s when I step in, and I’ll deal with him.”

Chapter 10
     
     
    He loves me, he loves me not , was the old game
that popped into Halcyon’s mind when she saw Scott. In that short
space of time in the hemisphere, she had a man who loved her and
she did love him back, and the man who never loved her. And thanks
to a “Scott sighting,” her day went downhill from the there.
    It wasn’t that she hadn’t expected to see or
hear from him again in her lifetime, but it had been a year. So why
now when she was starting to convince herself it was okay to love
again? Life wasn’t fair!
    Scott hadn’t called to check on the children,
or even sent her a text to say he was getting married, and
therefore moving on. Tracey was the one who saw the announcement in
the St. Louis American , a Black weekly newspaper. Halcyon
had cried then and she thought that was the end of it. Profanity
was threatening to escape to release her frustration. She twisted
her lips, trying to contain herself.
    You cannot curse and still bless Me, God whispered. Read James 3.
    The rebellion in her mouth seemed to calm
down, but the urge was still present. She wished she had a Bible
app on her phone, but she kept forgetting to install it. Plus, she
preferred turning pages in her Bible.
    Love Me and Me alone, You cannot serve two
masters, or you will be faithful to one and despise the other. My
Word is true. Matthew 6. God’s voice seemed even more forceful,
to the point that she actually shivered.
    Halcyon blinked to bring the passing scenery
from the highway into focus. She needed God’s Word right
now—desperately. Didn’t Granny Rose just tell her this morning that ‘God is our refuge, strength, and a very present help in
trouble?’
    Angling her body, Halcyon watched Zachary,
who drove in silence. She could tell by the stiff set of his jaw
that he wasn’t happy either. “Why do you want to be involved in my
mess?”
    He glanced at her. “What mess?”
    “My mess. My babies’ daddy drama.” She hated
that phrase, but it was what it was.
    “Scott is an absentee dad. I’m here because
there is no other woman I’d rather spend my time with, nor any
other children I would rather love. Next question.”
    She didn’t have any more, but the craving to
read her Bible increased, so she asked Zachary for his phone.
    “You need