When He Fell by Kate Hewitt Page B

he wears to work. He has a slightly ostentatious gold and silver Rolex and in the confines of the elevator his aftershave, although not unpleasant, can seem overpowering at seven o’clock in the morning.
    Now he just wears faded jeans and a gray t-shirt. His feet are bare.
    “Hey.” He gives me an uncertain, lopsided smile. “How are things? Has your son started to wake up?”
    It touches me, way more than it should, that he’s taken the time to come out of his apartment and ask. I shake my head. “No, not yet. But he’s not reacting badly to the reduced medication, so…” I shrug and spread my hands, unable to say any more, or offer some optimism I don’t really feel. I am so, so tired.
    “Maybe tomorrow, then?” Spandex Man says hopefully, and I shrug again.
    “I have no idea. The doctors don’t deal in promises.”
    “If they did, they’d make a ton more money,” he says, and I manage a smile. He winces. “Sorry, that was a lame joke, especially considering…”
    “I’m not made of glass,” I say, even though I feel like I am. Broken glass. “I can handle a joke.” At least I think I can. I want to be able to. I want to be normal again, even in just some small way.
    “It’s hard to know what to say in these situations,” he says. “When my mom died people avoided me rather than have to deal with the awkwardness.”
    I think of Juliet. Is that what her staying away is about? Awkwardness? “When did your mom die?”
    “I was seventeen. She had cancer.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    He shrugs it off. “It was a long time ago.” He braces his shoulder against the frame of his front door. “But how are you doing? How are you coping?”
    “Coping is the right word, I guess. It’s not easy. I don’t…I don’t have any backup.” I give him a quick, tense smile, because I’m sure he’s wondering why that is. “Ben’s dad isn’t in the picture.” And then I feel like I’ve said too much. I see a change on Spandex Man’s face, a discomfort, and I turn back to my door. “Anyway, thanks for asking.” I push open the door. “I appreciate it. But it’s late and I’m really tired. So…”
    He nods and steps back into his apartment. “Let me know how it goes with Ben,” he says. “If you want to, that is.”
    I nod, and then we both close our doors. My phone buzzes, but it’s just a reminder for a dentist appointment next week. And as I stand there alone in my darkened apartment, I realize that this is the most emotional support I’ve received from anyone since this happened, and I don’t even know his name.

8

JOANNA
    “Hey, buddy.” I smile at Josh as I sit across from him at the breakfast table. It’s nine o’clock on Thursday morning, and Josh finally wandered out of his room with a serious case of bedhead and sleep in his eyes. He smiles back at me, uncertainly, because this is new territory. Enforced vacation. At least, that’s how I’m determined to look at it, rather than an unfair punishment for an
accident.
    Lewis and I spoke about Ben’s fall last night. I told him what Josh told me, and he nodded grimly. “All right, fine, he pushed him. We already figured that’s what happened. But kids push, Jo. It was an accident.”
    “I know that,” I said. “And I think Burgdorf knows it, too. But I guess they feel they need a scapegoat.” Lewis shook his head in derision. “Maybe they’re afraid of a lawsuit,” I suggested. “Maybe Maddie feels someone at school was negligent.”
    “Maddie’s in the hospital with Ben,” Lewis said. “I don’t think she’s in a place to think about a lawsuit.”
    “Maybe Burgdorf is just covering the bases.” I paused. “I asked Josh about visiting Ben.” Another pause. “He didn’t want to.”
    Lewis shrugged this aside. “Hospitals are scary places, and he has to feel guilty, even though he shouldn’t. Let’s not push him to do anything he’s not comfortable with, Jo.” Lewis smiled, and then pulled me toward him. I