When It All Falls Apart (Book One) by Lucinda Berry Page B

consumed coffee by the gallon and all the baristas at the hospital Starbucks already had his order memorized.
    Since Rori didn’t do anything but sleep, we had endless hours to talk to each other and it allowed us to talk about all the underlying issues going on between us. It reminded me of how things used to be and felt wonderful. We finally got the opportunity to clear the air about our awful fight.
    “Babe, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I said what I said and I know there’s been a rift between us ever since. These early years are so hard. Everybody struggles, but I promise you once we get out of here, things are going to be better,” It was the third time he’d said it since yesterday, but I liked it more every time he said it.
    I laid my head on his chest, “I’m sorry too. I don’t know what’s happening half of the time. I hate fighting with you.”
    He kissed the top of my head. “I know I’m different...”
    It was the first time he’d admitted it. It felt good to hear him say it—validation that I wasn’t crazy. “It’s weird for me.”
    “Can you believe I turned into you? God, how do you live this way?”
    I burst out laughing and punched him in his arm. “It’s not so bad. You get used to it.”
    “I always wanted kids. You know that. I just wasn’t prepared for this.”
    “Neither was I. Any of it.”
    “And certainly not this.” He motioned to Rori strapped up to all of her machines in her hospital bed.
    I let out a deep sigh. “We’ll get through this. I promise you.”
    Later on while we were in the cafeteria staring at our plates instead of eating, he looked at me like he used to with eyes overflowing with love. “I need to do better at being there for you. We need to spend more time with just the two of us.” I beamed. I missed him so much. Was it possible this crisis would be the thing to bring him back to me? “How about once this is all over, we go away for the weekend together?”
    “Like without Rori?” We hadn’t left her alone overnight with anyone since she’d been born.
    “We’ll leave her with Robin and Trey. She loves them and she’s totally comfortable there. She probably won’t even notice we’re gone.”
    I squeezed his hand under the table. I couldn’t imagine getting to have him all to myself for an entire weekend. “Can we lay in bed until noon, please? God, remember when we actually used to do that?”
    “We can do whatever you want to do.”
    He took my hand on the walk back up to her room and I had to hold myself back from skipping down the hallway. My thoughts were racing and already planning ahead to where we could go on our weekend. I knew Robin wouldn’t hesitate to watch Rori. She’d offered on numerous occasions especially since we’d watched Emma overnight for her and Trey plenty of times. David had always refused her offers saying he’d spend his time worrying about her instead of enjoying himself. I was so glad he’d changed his mind. I wondered if he meant we could go away for the entire weekend or if he’d only meant Saturday night. I wanted to rent the small cottage on the beach where we’d spent our tenth anniversary. It was one of the most romantic weekends we’d had waking up each morning with the sound of the ocean and the smell of salt wafting through our windows.
    David was bummed we couldn’t have visitors but I secretly enjoyed it just being the two of us. There were also long periods of silence but even those periods were comfortable again. We could sit in silence without feeling as if we had to fill up the space. I didn’t even miss work and I always missed work.
    “Are you asleep?” I whispered from my chair shortly after the two a.m. nurse check.
    “I wish,” he said. “I feel like I haven’t slept in years.”
    “I get jealous.” My voice came out barely audible.
    “Huh? I can’t hear you.”
    I cleared my throat and tried again. “I get jealous.” I felt so silly finally saying it out loud. Who got