Whispers Through a Megaphone by Rachel Elliott Page A

rolled into one.
    It grew darker. Sadie felt the darkness all over her. “I want you to fuck me,” she said.
    Kristin pulled away.
    “Please.”
    “No.”
    “No?”
    Kristin stood up. “What on earth’s got into you?” She started banging on the door. “Hello? Anyone out there?”
    “Kristin, don’t. Don’t go.”
    “Hello? We’re stuck in here. Hello? ”
    Footsteps. The creak of floorboards. Then light from the hallway, cold and intrusive. Sadie’s chance had escaped. It was gone. She felt hollow again.
    Ralph looked confused. “Why?” he said, holding the door open. “Why are you two in here?”
    Kristin stepped out and stood beside him. Now they were both on the outside, looking in at Sadie in the half-light, her head buried in her hands.
    How quickly things change, thought Sadie. It’s nauseating.
    Ralph looked at Kristin. “What’s going on?”
    “Nothing’s going on. I found her crying.”
    “I have a name. And I wasn’t crying.”
    “Why were you crying in a cupboard? You were fine a moment ago, I saw you talking to Marcus. Did he upset you? Did he say something?”
    Keep talking, thought Ralph. Keep talking to your wife and we can all ignore the fact that she stepped into a cupboard and closed the door and—
    He remembered Jilly Perkins: “Do you ever worry that Sadie’s having an affair with her friend Kristin? I’m a little suspicious.”
    “This house has so much storage space,” said Kristin. “It’s the ideal place to have a breakdown, when you think about it.”
    “A breakdown?” said Sadie, standing up. “Is that what you normally say to women you’ve been flirting with? Do you accuse them of being mentally unstable?”
    “What the hell?” said Kristin.
    “How dare you,” said Sadie.
    “How dare I what?”
    “Blame it all on me.”
    “Blame what on you? Nothing happened.”
    “That kiss was nothing was it? Well that’s charming.”
    “Ralph, this isn’t how it seems,” said Kristin, shocked by what was occurring on Ralph’s face. Had he taken something? He was laughing. No, not just laughing, he was hysterical, he was bright red, tears were running down his cheeks.
    Sadie and Kristin looked at each other.
    The laughter stopped.
    They were surrounded by a wild silence.
    A wilderness.

11
END OF
    Dear Granny,
    Days pass in gales. I listen to the wind outside my window at night and it sounds like me. Might pick me up one day, fancy that. I tap my feet to music that isn’t here. Yesterday I left school in the middle of the morning and went to the cathedral. Rope across a gap, no entry sign, I snuck under the rope, went up a winding staircase. (Wish the staircase would go up and up and up.) Room full of candles with Jesus on a cross. I sat on a gold cushion and prayed. This room is for grieving families the man said. You shouldn’t be in here you’re not bereaved. He said he wasn’t joking but I wasn’t laughing so I don’t understand why he said that. I won’t be posting this note. You are in Spain and I bore you. I’m fourteen now. I turned fourteen today. No birthday card from you. Funny how I still expect you to turn up and say it’s time to get you out of here. Mum says you two fell out, people do that, they get sick of their children and their grandchildren, they lose contact, that’sjust the way it is. Look at EastEnders she said—people shout and scream and decide not to know each other any more. The world is gigantic and small and people get lost in it. End of. Sometimes it’s like I imagined us. I hope you’re happy and wearing sun cream.
    Kind regards,
    Miss Miriam Delaney
    “You’re not still cleaning are you?” Fenella says. She is on Miriam’s doorstep, jogging on the spot, going nowhere.
    “I’m not really cleaning any more. I’m clearing ,” Miriam says.
    “Decluttering?”
    “Something like that.”
    Fenella takes a bag of chocolate-covered raisins from her pocket, offers them to Miriam, throws one up in the air and catches it