White Trash Damaged by Teresa Mummert Page B

andthe only control I had was how I handled the situations as they came my way.
    This world was cruel and unforgiving,
    not fit for angels to live in
    Said I would never be alone,
    lying on empty sheets in a place that’s not my home
    I closed the notebook, and my eyes drifted up to the pictures of Tucker plastered to the roof of the bunk, reminding me that I was safe now, that that life was behind me, reminding me of the man who helped pull me out of that life and into this new one.
    I slid out of the bunk, chewing on my lip as I walked to the table at the front of the bus. I dropped the notebook in front of Tucker, and his eyes drifted up to meet mine.
    “I’m gonna step outside and get some air.” I turned and left the bus, suddenly feeling vulnerable and terrified. I couldn’t bear to hear what they had to say about my writing—I felt like I’d left a piece of my soul behind on that table, poised for their evisceration. Lyrics are their livelihood, and if they don’t like them, they won’t hesitate to tell me.
    The sun was beginning to set, but the air was still muggy and holding on to the heat of the day. I was so nervous I contemplated going to a store and getting a pack of cigarettes, but I knew I would never hear the end of it from Tucker, so I continued to chew on my lip as I waited for what felt like a lifetime.
    Finally the door swung open, and Tucker stepped down off the steps of the bus. I didn’t look at him as I fidgeted with the hem of my T-shirt.
    I searched his face for some sort of reaction as he came to my side and leaned against the bus.
    “It’s really fucking hard to read about what happened to you.” He kicked a few stones with his shoe. “But you did an amazing job.”
    “What do the guys think?”
    “They love it. Terry and Chris are already trying to figure out the beat to the song.”
    “Really?” I finally allowed myself to look up at him. He was smiling, clearly finding my insecurity amusing.
    “I meant what I said earlier. If this manager wants you gone, I’m leaving with you.”
    “I won’t let you do that.”
    “You don’t have a choice. I can’t live without you, Cass. Not again.”
    I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck. I loved how he fought for us, even when I didn’t think it was the best thing for him to do. His hand ran up and down my spine before he pulled back to look me in the eye.
    “I love you more than anything. I know it’s hard for you to believe that, sweetheart, but I am willing to do anything to prove it to you.”
    “I know you love me, Tucker. So much.”
    The rest of the band began to file out of the bus, and I reluctantly pulled back from our embrace.
    “Good job, Cass.” Chris placed his hand on my shoulder as he walked by. I beamed. Maybe I really had found my calling.

T HE CONCERT WAS in full effect, and the air was buzzing with excitement backstage. The show would be twice the size of last night’s. Filth was just finishing up their set.
    “Break a leg out there.” I gave Tucker a kiss on the cheek as Eric made gagging sounds from behind us. I rolled my eyes and shot him the finger behind Tucker’s back.
    “I’ll see you soon.” We could hear the crowd roar from backstage. “That’s our cue.”
    Sarah approached me with a wicked grin.
    “What are you up to?” Tucker gave me a look of concern. I shook my head, no clue what she was planning.
    “Girl time.” Sarah looped her arm in mine and pulled me from Tucker’s side. I shot him an apologetic look as she dragged me off to the hallway.
    “Love you,” I mouthed, and Tucker winked at me as they disappeared in the opposite direction.
    I focused my attention on the sweaty and overly excited rock star who was dragging me off into the unknown.
    “Where are we going?” I asked as she shot me a smile.
    “I figured after the drama, you could use a little pampering.”
    I pulled back from her, but she kept a firm grip on my arm.
    “Every girl needs to be pampered, and I