Wife 22 by Melanie Gideon Page B

was not, or that we had matching farmer’s tans, which were soon remedied when May turned into June and we peeled off the layers and our shoulders turned the color of walnuts. I pretended that he didn’t have a girlfriend. I pretended that I didn’t know the mineral smell of his sweat and how exactly he sweated—always the same: a line down his back and vertically across his collarbone. I pretended I didn’t buy new running shorts, and practice running in them in front of the mirror to make sure nothing untoward showed, and that I didn’t rub my legs with baby oil so they gleamed. I pretended I didn’t obsess about how a running partner should smell, or whether or not to wear perfume and in the end settled on baby powder, which would hopefully convey the message
naturally smells fresh and clean like a woman, not an infant
. He pretended he didn’t notice when my breathing turned to small, almost inaudible moans when we sprinted the last quarter mile, the Charles Hotel in sight, and I pretended I didn’t have fantasies that one day he would take my hand, lead me up to a room, and into his bed.
    36. Having a secret is the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world and, by necessity, exactly what’s missing in a marriage.

29
    From: researcher101
    Subject: Hope
    Date: May 30, 4:45 PM
    To: Wife 22
    Dear Wife 22,
    I took the liberty of codifying your last email—the emotion data points: longing, sadness, nostalgia, and hope. The last emotion might not seem evident to you, but there’s no doubt in my mind. It’s
hope.
    I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but what I find most likeable about you is your unpredictability. Just when I think I’ve gotten a handle on you, you say something that throws me off completely. Sometimes the correspondence between subject and researcher reveals so much more than the answers.
    You are a romantic, Wife 22. I wouldn’t have guessed it.
    Researcher 101
    From: Wife 22
    Subject: Re: Hope
    Date: May 30, 9:28 PM
    To: researcher101
    Researcher 101,
    Takes one to know one. Are you for real?
    Wife 22
    From: researcher101
    Subject: Re: Hope
    Date: May 30, 9:45 PM
    To: Wife 22
    Wife 22,
    I assure you I am very real. I’ll take your question as a compliment, and go one further and answer your next question so you needn’t ask it—no, I am not a senior citizen. Believe it or not, there are men in your generation who are romantics. Frequently we are disguised as curmudgeons. I look forward to getting your next set of answers.
    Researcher 101
    From: Wife 22
    Subject: Re: Hope
    Date: May 30, 10:01 PM
    To: researcher101
    I took the liberty of codifying
your
last email. The emotion points as I see them are flattered, chagrined, and the last emotion, which may not seem obvious to you, is also hope. What are you hoping for, Researcher 101?
    Sincerely,
    Wife 22
    From: researcher101
    Subject: Re: Hope
    Date: May 30, 10:38 PM
    To: Wife 22
    Wife 22,
    I suppose it’s what everybody hopes for—to be known for who we truly are.
    Researcher 101

30
    [email protected]
Bookmarks Bar (242)
    nymag.com/news/features/The Science of Gaydar
    The Science of Gaydar
    If sexual orientation is biological, are the traits that make people
seem
gay innate, too? The new research on biological indicators, everything from voice pitch to hair whorl.
    EXAMPLE 1: Hair Whorl (Men)
    Gay men are more likely than straight men to have a counterclockwise whorl.
    [email protected]
Bookmarks Bar (243)
    somethingfishy.org/eatingdisorders/symptoms
    1. Hiding food in strange places (closets, cabinets, suitcases, under bed) to avoid eating (anorexia) or eat at a later time