Yours to Savor by Scarlett Edwards Page B

And she’d been afraid if they found out where she lived, she’d give in and lose her resolve to find herself.
    Cutting off relations with her parents and the breakdown of her relationship with Henry were the main reason she’d been so hesitant to let anybody into her life while in Oceans Shores. She wanted to solve her problems by herself, first. After leaving Dallas, she’d wandered from town to town, picking up temporary jobs to pay for gas and food. She’d slept in her car most nights, showered at local YWCAs or women’s centers. The only thing she’d kept from her old life was that stack of admission letters, tempting her with the promise of a better life. A life led in the shadow of her sister’s life.
    That was how Sandra ended up in Ocean Shores, Washington. Her car had broken down as she was driving through, and it seemed as good a place as any to settle temporarily. She’d hoped that maybe if she could get as far away from her old home in Chicago as possible—get to the very edge of the continent on the West Coast—it would help with the dreams.
    She’d been right—to a degree. The nightmares still came, of course, but not as frequently as with Henry. So, she was still looking, still searching for some way to be rid of them forever. Even though Sandra had learned to lessen their impact on her day-to-day life, one part of the nightmare still managed to trigger a very emotional, very visceral response in her: her rescue in the hands of that stranger.
    Every time the nightmare came, some last remaining trace of guilt was spurred by the unknown stranger grabbing her and rushing her out of the house. It didn’t matter that Sandra knew the guilt was irrational, didn’t matter how hard she tried to reason against it. Hell, it didn’t even matter how far removed she was from the event anymore. Being taken away from the imposing door always woke that mortifying sense of shame and responsibility.
    At nine, and still battling the screaming fits, Sandra had hated that man for sparing her life. Back then, she thought it would have been truly better if she’d perished in the fire along with her sister, instead of living in a barely-functional, lonely existence with the guilt of survival. Although she’d long since overcome that dangerous mindset, she still couldn’t stop herself from hating the man. She knew she shouldn’t , knew that she should be thankful for his saving her… but all her emotions told her otherwise. It was one dark cloud she still needed to clear from her mind.
    Sandra picked up a clean towel from beside her bed and started for the bathroom. While the frugality she lived with now wasn’t exactly easy, it was her own choice. Working as a receptionist, renting a ramshackle apartment… it wasn’t ideal , but it was the simplest existence she’d ever known.
    It was all she wanted for herself right now. At least, until she figured out what she was going to do with the rest of her life.
    That was why she’d stayed put for two years, avoiding most relationships and any resulting emotions. It gave her a chance to breathe. Maybe it didn’t make the dreams go away, but Sandra thought that her solitary lifestyle might give her the best shot at figuring out what would.
    She spotted the shoes she’d kicked off last night and gave a bitter laugh. Had she really called the night magical ? Amazing ? The champagne must have warped her perception. She couldn’t even be sure if Brandon liked her, not after the strange way he’d said good-bye.
    She had to remember to clamp down and not be so free with her emotions if she ever saw him again. And not act like some stupid puppy that was let out after being stuck in a closet for a week.
    Sandra undressed and stepped into the dribbling stream of icy water from her shower. The cold always woke her up. Maybe it would numb her senses enough to make her forget all the pain that accompanied today’s recollection.

Chapter Seven

    The rest of the week passed