03 - Sagittarius is Bleeding by Peter David - (ebook by Undead)

bow.
    “And also, you’re…”
    “I’m what?”
    “You’re all twitchy.”
    That drew an even more confused reaction from Baltar. “Twitchy?”
    “Jumpy. Your eyes keep moving from side to side. Even back when we left
Caprica, I first noticed it. You act like… like you’re afraid that someone’s
watching you, all the time. Like you’re up to something and you’re concerned
that you’re going to get caught at it. Someone who looks worried all the time
that he’s going to be caught at something… it makes it seem like you’re evil,
because only someone evil would have that much to be nervous about.”
    “Well, I appreciate that dazzling bit of character analysis,” Baltar said
sarcastically. “But I’ll have you know I’m not evil.”
    “How do you know?”
    “Because,” said Baltar, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” This time Number Six was
doubled over in laughter. He forced himself to ignore it.
    “Neither has Sharon. At least, the Sharon who’s locked up. I just wanted to—”
    “You know what?” Baltar snapped. “You’ll understand when you’re grown up.” He
knew it wasn’t true, of course. The only thing growing up guaranteed was that
parts of you were going to start hurting that had never hurt before. Other than
that, nothing else was assured.
    “Grown up.” Boxey laughed bitterly.
    “What’s so funny?”
    He fixed Baltar with a gaze and said, “Doctor… almost everybody is dead.
Dead. And we’re being chased by killer robots, and some of them can look so much
like us that we can’t tell them apart without blood tests.” And he indicated the
vial. “Grow up? You really, really think I’m going to get to grow up? Part of me
thinks I won’t even live to see my next birthday.”
    Baltar was about to make a sarcastic reply, but then he saw the quiet
certainty in the boy’s face. At first he didn’t know what to say. Then he heard
himself replying, “That’s no way for someone your age to be thinking. You should
be thinking about meeting girls and going to parties and your first kiss and the
curve of a girl’s neck and what your profession is going to be and all sorts of
things, none of which have a damned thing to do with dying. Youth is always the
hope for the future. Always. If young people believe that they have no future,
then what’s the point of any of this?”
    Boxey considered that a moment and then said, “Survival?”
    “There’s more to life than survival. There has to be. There’s the quality of
the life you’re surviving for.”
    “I… I guess…”
    “Don’t guess,” Baltar told him firmly. “Guessing is an appalling habit. It
shows laziness of mind. One either knows or doesn’t know. If you know, speak of
a certainty. If you don’t know, be man enough to say you don’t know, and then
research the question until you do know. Anything else is unacceptable.
Understand?”
    “I gue—” He caught himself and then nodded. “Yes. I understand.”
    “Good. Now go out to the nice Colonial marine and tell him I’ll have the
results to him in a day or so.”
    “A day…?”
    “It’s a very complicated test and takes a good long while to administer. Plus
it’s not as if guaranteeing the fleet’s safety from you is the only thing I have
on my docket. It will be finished when it’s finished.”
    “Okay.” Boxey started to head for the door, then paused and said, “Doctor…
?”
    “Yes?” Baltar said, trying to keep the impatience from his voice and not
entirely succeeding.
    “Sorry about the whole thing about saying you’re twitchy and jumpy. I know
you’re not evil.”
    “Thank you for the vote of confidence,” Baltar said with a graciousness he
didn’t feel.
    Boxey left the lab, and Baltar sat there and stared at the blood sample. When
Number Six rested her hands on his shoulders and her chin atop his head, he
didn’t react. “Pity your test doesn’t really work. That you’ve told everyone you
can distinguish human from