A Charm of Powerful Trouble by Joanne Horniman

my toes. I reached down and picked up a handful of it and smeared it on my arm. It smelled faintly of rotting vegetation, a smell that I have always liked.
    We took off our clothes down to our knickers and submerged ourselves in the water and then stood up again, water streaming from our hair. I tried not to look at Alice because I knew she might not like me to stare; her new breasts were even tinier than mine. I reached down and took some mud from the bottom of the creek and smeared it quickly over my breasts, to cover them. Then without thinking I took another handful, and tossed it at Alice. Alice tossed a handful back at me.
    Soon we were covered in mud. I stood savouring the warmth of the sun, and the sensation of the mud firming into a second skin. Without washing it off, I climbed up onto the grassy bank. Alice followed me, and we lay back, our faces turned up to the sun.
    When I was so dazed by sun that I was almost asleep, I rolled sideways, and accidentally bumped into Alice. She returned the bump. We giggled, and made it into a game, rolling and bumping against each other. My eyes were dazzled by pinpricks of sunlight through my lashes.
    I did a particularly vigorous roll, and felt myself come to rest partly on top of Alice. I stopped. I could feel the softness of her breast against my skin.
    When I opened my eyes I saw her looking back at me.
    Without thinking I put my mouth against her mouth. It wasn't a kiss, not what I'd seen Claudio and Emma do, not what I'd seen on television. With my eyes shut I licked Alice on the lips, and felt Alice's tongue touch mine. My mouth on hers was like a butterfly alighting on the edge of a puddle to drink, the lightest of touches. Sip, sip, sip.
    My tongue went further. The inside of Alice's mouth was soft. For a moment my whole world was the warmth of the sun and the soft inside of Alice's mouth.
    And then that itch I had felt with Alice earlier returned and I took Alice's bottom lip gently between my teeth. I don't know why, but very quickly and cleanly and suddenly, I bit into it. Alice cried out and pulled away, and I tasted the salt of blood.
    Alice stumbled to the creek and plunged in. She rubbed at the mud on her body, trylng to clean it all off. At last she emerged and stood with water streaming over her, her finger held gingerly to the sore spot on her mouth.
    I saw the look of loathing on Alice's face. She said to me, slowly and emphatically, ‘I am never speaking to you again. You're dirty. You're horrible. I'm going to ring my mother to come and get me.’
    We didn't speak to each other again.
    I stood in the driveway with her while she waited for her mother to pick her up, but she wouldn't even look at me. After the car had gone, I pulled on my comforting red beanie which smelt so strongly of myself and dragged out an old bicycle that Lizzie and I took turns on sometimes, and went for a ride. I rode and rode till I was breathless and my legs hurt, right to the top of the hill near our place. And then I turned round to go back.
    It was a windy day, and as I headed down the hill I could hear the wind and feel it pushing behind me. I pedalled faster and faster, hanging on tight as I jolted through potholes and then pedalling even faster afterwards. And the wind was with me and the trees beside the road were tossing about and I became aware that I couldn't hear the wind any longer at all: I was going as fast as the wind and there was absolutely no sound, just the trees tossing and my front wheel going so fast it was blurred and my hands gnpping the handlebars tight.
    And then my red beanie blew off! And the wind whipped it away All in a split second. And I didn't care, I didn't care at all.

    I hadn't told Alice I was sorry, because I wasn't. I didn't feel horrible, or dirty from what I had done. I felt wonderful.
    I was thirteen. My life, which I'd feared would be ordinary, had proved to be full of wonders, and I expected that more would come to me in the