A Greater World by Clare Flynn

Elizabeth watched him pull the woman towards him and hold her for a moment in his arms, her head on his shoulder as his hand stroked her hair. Then the pair pulled apart and after a few words that Elizabeth couldn't make out, the stewardess went off up the passageway. Elizabeth stood motionless in the doorway, trying to take in what she had seen and the effect it had had on her.
    Back in her cabin, she tried to sort out the thoughts that were racing through her head. Why should she be surprised? Betty was an attractive woman and Winterbourne was a free agent. But she felt a sense of loss as the emotion welled up inside her. She had thought him an ally and believed he was becoming a friend: the only person on the ship with whom she had willingly spent time. Betrayed. Not just that. Jealous too. She wished it was on her shoulder that he had placed his hand and that it was she who had been folded into his arms. She thought about how it would feel to have those arms around her, to bury her head in the warmth of his chest; to feel his hands upon her hair. Sitting there on the bunk, she clenched her firsts and smashed them down into the mattress, a little cry escaping from her lips. All those intentions to be strong, to be hard, to be brave, had abandoned her. She was alone, lonely and felt rejected.
    He had made no advances, had made no promises, had behaved impeccably. She could not blame him for seeking the company of an attractive woman. No doubt he felt more at home with a woman nearer his own social class. She cursed her naivety and stupidity and swore to avoid him for the rest of the voyage. She got up and looked at her reflection in the mirror. You silly goose. Fancy falling for a fellow like that! You've no business to fall for anybody. Not any more. Not after what's happened to you. Stop thinking about him. Focus on the future. On Father. On your new life together.
    She abandoned her daily expedition to the boat deck, preferring to go to the ladies' saloon or stay in her cabin. At mealtimes, she waited until the dining room was almost empty and he had already finished. Whenever she reminded herself of her stupid suggestion that she take him to an orchestral concert she cringed and wondered what must he think of her?
    As the Historic sailed into Sydney Harbour she couldn't help but feel uplifted. The panorama in front of her was so beautiful: the clear blue sky mirrored in the crystal water, the myriad inlets and outcrops of the natural harbour, the rich green vegetation and the impressive growing development of the city spreading inland from the water's edge. As the ship docked at the quayside, she searched in vain for her father's face among the crowds, then remembered he would have had no idea she would be on this particular ship or arriving so soon after his letter.
    She felt a hand on her sleeve and jumped in surprise.
    'Miss Morton, have you been ill? I've not seen you in a while. I hope it weren't the ciggie I gave you the other day?'
    She tried to adopt an aloof expression and her coolest tone of voice. 'I've been quite well, thank you.'
    He looked crushed but doffed his cap and stretched out his hand to her. 'All the best for the future, Miss Morton. It were a pleasure to meet you.'
    She prayed she wasn't blushing and tried to repress the little leap her heart gave. But she knew he was courting the stewardess. There was a bitter taste in her mouth as she forced herself to reply, ignoring his outstretched hand by pretending not to see it.
    'You too, Mr Winterbourne. May you find what you're looking for in Australia.'
    He hesitated, as though about to say something else, but Elizabeth had already turned away and started to walk towards the gangway. He looked after her, a frown creasing his brow.
    'Fancied your chances with the posh lady did you, Mick?' One of the Mancunians slapped him on the back and laughed loudly. His brothers joined them.
    'You daft lad! A bit of class like her 'd 'ave nowt to do with the likes