A Groom With a View by Sophie Ranald Page B

huge, curtained fitting rooms. It was weird to see the transformation that took place in all of them. They’d go into the cubicles in their jeans and boots, looking completely normal, and when they emerged, they were brides. Whether the dresses were white or ivory, straight or meringue-like; whether the girls’ faces looked happy and excited or anxious and cross, they were all, quite suddenly, brides. Even the girl who left her Uggs on underneath her frock. I took another sip of sparkling wine and felt a bit sick.
    “Sorry to keep you waiting. I’m Chelsea.” Our consultant had poker-straight fair hair and the longest eyelash extensions I’ve ever seen. She looked about twelve. “You must be so excited about finding a dress! With your figure, you can wear absolutely anything!”
    “It’s not for me, actually,” Katharine said. “It’s for Pippa.”
    I could see Chelsea blushing through her layers of concealer. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered. “Pippa, lovely to meet you. I’m new here so this is still really exciting for me too. Have you had any thoughts about the sort of thing you’re after?”
    “I just don’t know,” I said feebly. “Something plain? Or maybe something in a kind of fifties style? Or maybe something in a colour that’s not white or ivory?”
    “Some brides have their wedding theme or colour scheme as a starting point,” said Chelsea, doing her best to be helpful. “What’s yours?”
    “Theme?” I said, blankly. It was a wedding – surely that was the theme?
    “Like mine was inspired by Gatsby ,” Katharine said. “So we had cocktails and the wedding car was a vintage Rolls – I wanted cream but we couldn’t find one anywhere and I wanted a cigarette holder but not being a smoker, that would have been a bit pointless – and the dress was flapper-style. You remember, Pippa.”
    “Lots of brides this year have chosen a Bond theme,” said Chelsea. “With the men in dinner jackets. It looks dead glamorous. Also, birds are going to be huge next year. And Scrabble is a key trend.”
    Scrabble? How on earth did you have a scrabble-themed wedding dress? Would it have lots of squares on it? Would everyone have to stand around me arguing about whether proper nouns were allowed?
    “And I remember reading somewhere that laser-cutting is the new lace,” said Katharine.
    They both smiled hopefully at me. “All those sound really interesting,” I said.
    “Let’s have a little look at some of the styles we have in stock.” Chelsea sat down next to me and fired up her tablet.
    Half an hour later, I stood in front of the huge, gilt-framed mirror in my fifth dress. I presume it was inspired by the fashion-forward avian trend, because the skirt was covered in feathers in shades of yellow from cream to canary.
    “Now that’s just stunning on you,” Chelsea said.
    “Not right with your colouring,” said Katharine tactfully. I thought, and I’m sure she did too, that I looked like Big Bird. Which would have been great, obviously, had we opted for the lesser-known Sesame Street theme.
    “One of the biggest colour trends of the year is called Radiant Orchid,” said Chelsea. “It’s a more vibrant, but cooler shade of blush. Have a look at this.”
    She produced yet another frock, in a colour that I can only describe as mauve. I recoiled slightly, but obediently tried it on and looked in the mirror. Big Bird had been replaced by the Queen. All I needed to complete the look was a pair of clumpy black shoes, gloves and a big handbag.
    “Maybe not that one,” said Katharine.
    Even though it was beginning to look like I’d never find a dress, I was increasingly grateful for Katherine’s candour. I’d tried a dress with a high halter neck that made me look like my boobs were somewhere down round my waist, and she’d diplomatically pointed out that I might need something a little more low-cut. I’d tried a corseted, strapless number that gave me an even bigger cleavage at the