A Healthy Homicide by Staci McLaughlin

me what kind. I’d rather imagine it.” The murmur of voices came over the line. “Looks like the meeting’s about to start. I’ll see you at the service tomorrow.”
    “See you then,” I said and hung up, my face still radiating heat. Before leaving my bedroom, I poked my head out first to make sure I wouldn’t be interrupting any R-rated activity. The couch was empty, the slightly flattened cushion the only evidence of its recent occupants.
    I padded over to the kitchen and rummaged around for dinner, pulling a tray of macaroni and cheese from the freezer. While I watched the package of pasta rotate inside the microwave, I wondered about Carla’s service. I certainly didn’t expect any nude protestors there, but if Ricky and Erin showed up, I might just see someone throw a chair. No way was I missing that.
     
     
    The next morning my eyes flew open at 6:00 a.m. I reminded myself that it was my day off, but my mind was already racing through my to-do list for the day. After five minutes of trying to relax, I admitted defeat and threw back the covers. A short while later I emerged from the bathroom with my hair still damp from my shower and went into the kitchen for breakfast.
    I grabbed the box of Pop-Tarts out of the cupboard. I shook the box, then turned it upside down. Empty. Ashlee must have eaten the last packet. I grabbed a box of cereal from the same shelf and dumped a pile of flakes into a bowl. I retrieved the half-gallon carton of milk from the fridge and tipped it over the cereal. Three drops fell out. Not a good start to the day.
    Ashlee emerged from her room at that moment, her blond hair flat on one side and sticking straight out on the other. I was still trying to shake loose an extra drop or two of milk, and a look of guilt flashed across her face.
    “I meant to go to the store last night,” she said. “I’ll run by this morning.”
    “Pick up some Pop-Tarts while you’re there, would you? Get two boxes if they’re on sale.”
    Ashlee dropped into a kitchen chair and put a hand on her head. “I have to remember to get some aspirin, too. These late nights are killing me.”
    I got a spoon from the silverware drawer and carried that and the bowl of cereal to the table. I sat down across from Ashlee. “Good party?”
    Ashlee scowled at her fingernails. “Crap, I chipped my manicure already. Must have been from bowling.”
    “There was bowling at the party?” I ate a spoonful of dry cereal, dreaming of milk all the while.
    “No, the party started to get rowdy, so Chip and I went to the bowling alley. That place was more packed than Chip’s. We hooked up with Brittany and some guy she’s been dating. I should have stayed at the party.”
    “Why? What happened at the bowling alley?”
    Ashlee reached over and snagged the box of cereal. “This girl Brittany knows showed up and kept crying. She totally ruined the mood.”
    Only Ashlee could make a trip to the bowling alley sound like a soap opera. “What was she so upset about?”
    “Brittany said her aunt died. She should have stayed home if she was that bummed out, but she guilted Brittany into attending some memorial service today.” Ashlee scooped out a handful of cereal and shoveled it into her mouth, crumbs and flakes falling all around her.
    I pulled my bowl closer so she wouldn’t drop her drool-covered cereal in it. Dead aunt? Memorial service? “Was this girl named Erin?”
    “Yeah, that sounds right.” Ashlee rose to her feet with a groan. “Guess I’ll get ready for work. We’ve got a lizard coming in that needs its stitches removed.”
    “You’re making that up,” I said.
    “Am not. Poor guy fell off the roof and got scratched by a nail. It happens more than you’d think.” Ashlee disappeared into her room.
    I finished my cereal, my thoughts on Ashlee’s comments, not about the lizard but about Erin. So she was going to the memorial service, after all. Between that and Brittany the giggler attending, Patricia