A House Divided by Kimberla Lawson Roby

normally like to do is give you an opportunity to lay out any concerns or crucial questions you might have.”
    Melissa looked at Dillon. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
    “Go ahead,” he said.
    “This is kind of embarrassing to bring up, Pastor,” she said, “but it’s really bothering me, and I’m afraid of what it will do to our marriage if it doesn’t stop.”
    “Okay,” Curtis said.
    Melissa paused and then said, “Dillon is addicted to porn. He watches it all the time.”
    Curtis knew that tons of people struggled with this kind of addiction, but this was the first time anyone had brought it up during premarital counseling. “So, Dillon, when did this start?”
    “About a year and a half ago.”
    “Had you and Melissa already begun dating?”
    “I met her shortly afterward.”
    “Is there a reason you started?”
    “Not really…well, actually it was because I’d gone through a very bad breakup. Back then, I was looking for anything to take my mind off that.”
    “I see,” Curtis said, then he looked at Melissa. “And when did you find out he was watching this kind of thing?”
    “A few months ago. I was visiting him one evening and when he ran down to the store, I signed on to his computer. All I was planning to do was browse a couple of bridal sites, but I ended up checking his browser history. I saw all the sites he’d marked as favorites. That’s when I realized every one of them was porn.”
    “But it’s not like any of that takes away from the love I have for Melissa,” Dillon said. “I don’t even think about those women once I turn off my computer. I watch those videos strictly for entertainment.”
    “Nonetheless,” Melissa said, “I don’t like it, and to me it feels like you’re cheating.”
    “But baby, you know I’m not. I don’t even know those women.”
    “Still. I don’t like it, and I really doubt that watching porn is the Christian thing to be doing.”
    Dillon didn’t say anything else, and neither did Melissa.
    “Do you feel as though you can’t stop?” Curtis asked.
    Dillon sighed loudly. “I tried.”
    “And what happened?”
    “I thought about it all the time…not the women…but the sexual activity. It even kept me up at night, and then I started thinking about it all day at work.”
    “And how long did you abstain?”
    “One week.”
    “Did you pray about it? Because sometimes the only way to rid yourself of a bad habit is to literally get down on your knees and ask God to remove it.”
    Dillon shook his head. “No.”
    Melissa looked at Curtis. “He didn’t pray because he didn’t really wanna stop.”
    “Is that true, Dillon?” Curtis asked.
    Dillon hunched his shoulders.
    “I know talking about this is uncomfortable, but it really is a good thing. Getting this out in the open and admitting that you have a problem is the first step.”
    “I believe that,” he said. “But Pastor, I’ll be honest. I love porn. And maybe if Melissa wasn’t putting me off, I could let it go.”
    She cast her eyes at him. “But you knew how I felt about sex before marriage when we first started dating. And you said you were fine with it.”
    “Well, I’m not,” he said matter-of-factly. “I thought I was, but baby, I’m a twenty-seven-year-old man who’s been having sex most of my life, so this abstinence thing is a bit much.”
    Melissa narrowed her eyes. “Wow. Well, that’s news to me.”
    “I’m sorry, but you need to know how I feel.”
    “And you couldn’t tell me that before today? You had to wait until we were sitting in front of Pastor Black?”
    Dillon looked away from her.
    Curtis knew it was time he intervened. “This is the reason premarital counseling is so important. Sometimes, couples aren’t able to express themselves openly until they have a third party present.”
    “I understand that, but I’m a little shocked that he hasn’t told me this before now.”
    “I knew you wouldn’t be happy about it,” he