A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius by Stacey Matson

Knitting? Like, sweaters?
    Arthur: Or scarves or stuff. I mean, you can knit anything.
    Robbie: That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.
    End of interview.
    Much better, Arthur. I’m glad to see that you and Robbie were able to work together on this assignment, and I hope you learned something too!
    Ms. Whitehead
    â€¢ • •
    January 19th
    Dear RJ,
    Today was so hard! Ms. Whitehead made me do my homework like fourteen times! Well, three times, but still. It felt like fourteen. And then because of that, I was late to get to the cafeteria for lunch and I missed out on the pizza they had today. Plus, I saw Kennedy and I was just about to say hello, and then all her friends were there and I chickened out. Well, I mean, not really “chickened out.” It was just not the right time, because I didn’t want her friends to hear us talking. I mean, her friend Catie makes a big deal out of EVERYTHING. Anyway, I was all ready to ask her about the drama club and how she liked it (even though I already know), and then she would get excited and start talking and then we would sit down together to eat lunch and talk about all the stuff we have in common, and it was going to be awesome, and she was going to realize how cool I am.
    I wonder if Robbie has been telling her that he thinks I’m a geek. I know he thinks so, because I’ve never played Minecraft. And I’ve never been to Hawaii either. I mean, it sucks that he went because his parents were getting divorced, but the only place I went when Mom died was my grandparents’ house in Balzac. And there’s definitely no palm trees in Balzac. In fact, there’s nothing in Balzac. Seriously. Nothing.
    Yours truly,
    Arthur Bean
    â€¢ • •
    Hiya, Arthur,
    As you know, there is an assembly coming up to celebrate the football team’s league championship. How about you take a run at some event/sports writing for the newspaper? I bet you can cover the whole nine yards in one article!
    Mr. E.
    â€¢ • •
    ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE…
    AND YOU CAN BE ON IT!!
    The drama club is holding auditions for their spring production of Romeo and Juliet . No acting experience necessary; just come and join us on January 24th after school. Bring your flair for the dramatic, your angry soul, your romantic heart, or your funniest class clown; there are roles for everybody! Maybe you will be the next big movie star: get your start now!
    â€¢ • •
    January 20th
    Dear RJ,
    I had a dream last night that I was Romeo in the school play, and Kennedy was Juliet. It was glorious! We kissed and held hands, and everyone who saw the play said things like “You two have such chemistry!” and “You two make the most adorable couple!” Then Kennedy said, “Well, it wasn’t acting, you know,” and then she kissed me again, but not onstage. It was perfect.

    I wish this was real. Then Kennedy would become a famous actress and we would get married. Then we would be this super famous couple, and after a while we would write a cookbook because we are secretly gourmet cooks.
    So now I have to practice. Only four days until the auditions!
    Yours truly,
    Arthur Bean
    â€¢ • •
    Football Celebration Kicks Off on Wrong Foot
    By Arthur Bean
    Terry Fox Jr. High’s assembly celebrating the victorious football team ended in tragedy yesterday when Katy Lamontagne, a popular ninth-grade student and girlfriend of Ryan Riker, was dropped from the top of a human pyramid and rushed to the hospital.
    This show of carelessness and negligence is not the first for the accident-prone cheerleading squad of Terry Fox Jr. High. An unnamed source said that one cheerleader hit herself on the head with a baton during practice back in September. At the semifinal game against Lester B. Pearson Jr. High in November, another cheerleader threw up after spinning in the half-time number. To get to the bottom of these