I
needed to figure something out: talk it over with Kai. But for the first time in our friendship, I didn’t know if I could. It wasn’t like it was right before I came out to Kai, when I had been afraid of what he would say or do, or if
our friendship would survive. It was more like this nagging feeling he
couldn’t help. That he was too involved in the situation. I certainly
couldn’t talk to Mel about it, not without betraying Kai’s trust. It was
obvious he didn’t want her to know about him and me. In my desperation I
even considered asking my parents for advice.
Hey Mom, Dad, I’ve been fucking Kai. It’s not what you think—
he’s probably still straight. My bully, on the other hand, is suddenly all
gay for me. Thoughts? You know, maybe it would be worth it, just to see
the look on their faces. But no, there was only one thing that was going to
work. Awkward as it might be, Kai was my best friend, and I could trust
him to help me figure out how I felt. And hopefully find out more about
how he felt.
“You’re still coming over tonight, right?” I asked him at the lunch
table on Monday. Mel was in line for food, and I had seized the
opportunity to talk to Kai alone.
“You bet your ass I am.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
“That’s not what I meant,” I began, but before I could clarify, Mel
joined us at the table.
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Dirk Hunter
“What’s not what you meant?” she asked. Kai immediately turned
his attention to the food on his tray, leaving me to face Mel’s inquisitive,
arched eyebrows alone.
“Uhhhh… nothing. Kai was just being an asshole.” Kai snickered,
probably thinking I’d made some kind of innuendo, or at least a pun.
Dammit, Mel, I was trying to get Kai’s mind off sex for a little while.
Mel looked unconvinced, but she didn’t press further. “Speaking of
assholes,” she said.
I turned to see what Mel was talking about. Adam was heading
straight toward us. Because of course that’s what would happen right then.
I had sort of hoped I might avoid being in any kind of close quarters with
both Adam and Kai, but apparently that was out of the question. As if I
needed more proof that God had a sense of humor. A sense of humor
apparently influenced by too many sitcoms and practical jokes.
Adam smiled when he saw me look his way, which only made
things worse. It made me realize that I too was happy to see him, which
set off another round of confusion fireworks. Especially when I
compared it to the awkward feeling I still felt around Kai in public.
Adam sat down at our table. For a second I thought Kai’s eyes were
going to pop out of their sockets. He cleared his throat loudly, but if Adam
noticed, he gave no sign. “Hey,” Adam said to me, continuing to ignore
the strange looks my friends were giving him. “I was thinking, maybe—”
“Why are you sitting here,” Kai burst in belligerently. “The jock
table is over there. You know, the one with all the other idiots.”
Adam gave him a slow, sidelong look. It wasn’t hostile or threatening,
just a look. Nonetheless Kai shifted his shoulders, uncomfortable with the
scrutiny. “Malachi,” Adam said, as though musing. “Didn’t you shit your
pants on a field trip in the fifth grade?”
Mel shrieked with laughter. “I remember that!” It had been shortly
after she moved here. Kai had been trying to lift large rocks at the state
park in some pathetic attempt to impress her.
Kai’s face had turned some kind of purple. “What’s your point?”
“Oh, nothing.” Adam said casually, in between bites of his burger.
“Just that maybe you should be nicer to people, especially when they still
have certain pictures lying around their house.”
“There are pictures of that? Oh my God , you have to bring them!”
And just like that, Adam had won Mel over. She and Adam began going
54
After School Activities
back and forth, doing their best to imitate the look on Kai’s
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley