Alarm Girl by Hannah Vincent Page B

had to keep still, because of the brute that was coming for her. If she kept still, the bully might not see her.
    ‘It’s not new,’ she said.
    ‘What’s not new?’
    He was in front of her but they were no longer in the kitchen. She didn’t know what had happened to the glass that was in her hand. She didn’t know what had happened to the kitchen.
    ‘The feeling inside comes further out,’ she said.
    ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ he said. ‘You’re just annoying me now.’
    She wanted to tell him about a time before she knew him, but the words were too frightening and would summon the beast, which was what she was trying to avoid.
    ‘I just want to be a normal family,’ he said, breathing hard.
    She had no idea how long they had been sitting on the sofa. She looked past him, checking the room forclues. The fire had burned low in the grate. His wine glass was empty. She could hear him trying to regulate the amount of air he was taking into his lungs.
    ‘Let’s give up,’ he said. ‘Let’s go back.’
    She let out a little moan.
    ‘What’s keeping us here? We don’t have to stay. Karen!’
    He gripped her tightly by the wrists and shook her. She allowed herself to be shaken. She wanted him to shake her, in the hope that he might be able to shake her out of herself.
     
    WE WENT ON A FERRY to the island where Nelson Mandela was a prisoner. In the car on the way Nan and Grandad and Dad were all talking about his funeral. Grandad said people might start rioting and Nan said they didn’t riot when he was alive because he suffered enough. She said even though she didn’t like Nelson Mandela’s tactics when he was a terrorist it was dreadful to be locked up for so long. Dad didn’t agree that he was a terrorist and Nan said We’ll agree to disagree then, shall we, Ian? That shut him up. If she calls him by his name like that he goes quiet.
    Robin couldn’t believe we were going to the actual prison where we could stand inside Nelson Mandela’s real prison cell. Lots of other people were going too and it was in the middle of the sea. Everyone felt sick on the ferry because of the waves and the engine smoke.Grandad tied my scarf around my face like a cowboy which was good because all I could smell was their house and no one could see my face, only my two eyes. Robin puked in a bag.
    When we got to the prison a man gave us a talk. He told us before it was a prison the island was for lepers, and I noticed Nan kept rubbing her hands with handwash after that.
    The man giving us the talk used to be an actual prisoner. Everyone was interested apart from me. I wanted to go on the iPad but Dad said it would be inappropriate. Inappropriate is a word that teachers say. They could say something is bad or wrong but instead they always say it’s inappropriate. It’s annoying. Nan asked the man was it true about Nelson Mandela knitting to stop himself getting bored and the man said yes it was true and he was the father of our nation. I wished I had some knitting to do.
    Everyone apart from me was sick again on the ferry back. I was the odd man out. Nan said I was like an ox. When we got back Dad asked us for some business advice. He showed us the website he is designing for his company. Nan said I was too big to sit on Dad’s lap but I stayed where I was. Dad’s website has photos of his house and the beehive cottage and loads of countryside and animal pictures and one of Dad playing golf. It says Taylored Travel – Travel With You In Mind on the homepage and there is some writing about how South Africa is a safe and exciting place for family holidays.Nan asked if it really was safe and Dad said It’s perfectly safe, Valerie. He called her by her name and she said to him You know Doug and I are more than happy to hang on to the kids, Ian, calling him by his name too. Dad said It’s perfectly safe. Then Nan said But there are no memories for them in South Africa and Dad said Maybe that’s a good