Alice in La La Land by Sophie Lee Page A

tastes weird!' she said, thumping her chest in an effort to force the pill down.
    'You think?' Shauna knelt down and felt the bathwater with her hand. 'Or maybe I didn't rinse the cup out properly. That bath water sure ain't tepid, Alice.' Shauna mimed quotation marks with her fingers as she said the word 'tepid'. 'You must be freezing your ass off.'
    Alice felt weak but reassured that she now had medicine in her system. 'You know,' she remarked, choking down a sob as Shauna handed her a towel, 'I could've had a major role in Starmap 3000 , but I turned it down to do a play that got canned in its third week. And you know what? For the following year I didn't work at all . . . unless, of course, you count a corporate video and a pineapple chunks commercial. So let's face it, my ticket to the big time, a little art-house film I shot two years ago called Cornucopia , was in fact booed at Venice and they still can't organise a release date. I won't even mention the talking horse movie I took on to finance my boyfriend's play so that he could walk out on me and it on opening night . . . Bollocks! I have such bloody brilliant decision-making skills!' Alice's nose was running and tears slid down her cheeks. They felt cool on her facial welts.
    'Wow, you do theatre? That's classy, Alice!' Shauna rolled up her sleeve and pulled out the plug. She exhaled loudly. 'That sucks, Alice, it really does, but you haven't even given yourself a chance here, yet. Neville's been toughing it out here for years, you know.'
    'Yeah, and look how he makes his dough.' Alice wrapped herself in the towel and they made their way down the hall. As she opened her bedroom door, she knocked the accessories off her doorknob and they clattered to the floor like a thousand fairy bells. 'He charges triple the rent for a room that's not even vacant and has his tenants administer eardrops to his cats.'
    'Ear drops?' Shauna winced, 'ewww.'
    'You mean you didn't get my note?' asked Alice, reaching under the pillow for her pyjamas. The walk from the bathroom left her feeling spacey and exhausted. 'Neville emailed to ask that you specifically be in charge of their ears.'
    'Huh? You're nuts,' Shauna retorted.
    Alice had dropped the towel and was cautiously poking her legs into her pyjama bottoms. She caught sight of the tidy script piles on the bedroom floor; she hadn't managed to learn lines while in the throes of her allergic reaction, after all. Fuck it, she thought. I'll set the alarm for 6 am and go over it all then. I need to get some sleep. Alice picked up her travel clock and programmed the alarm. She looked over at Shauna who was hovering by the door and seemed thoroughly spooked by the evening's drama.
    'You'll be okay now, right?' she asked, flicking at her hair.
    'Thank you so much, Shauna. Yes, I'll be all right. I'm sorry you had to stay up so late before your big audition. Thanks for going out and getting me the pills.' Alice sank back onto the pillows and closed her eyes. 'Let's reconvene at oh-eight-hundred hours,' she murmured. Her skin was still hot and itchy. 'I suppose we'll just need a few more Triple G's in the morning.'
    She could hear Shauna laughing as she pulled the door closed with a click. 'Uh, Alice? What the hell is bollocks?' she asked, through the wall.

6
    'Oh dear! Oh dear!
I shall be too late!'
    Lewis Carroll,
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Re: Goodbye Poinsettia Lane
    You will read for the part of Laura (early twenties). This is a sweet script for the Hallmark Channel and we think you'd be perfect for the female lead. Go in looking as fresh-faced as possible. Please prepare scenes 17, 23 and 39. Appointment at 10.30 am, Samantha Schwartz, Schwartz and Breinhoff Casting, Studio City. (Address and Yahoo map attached.)
    Love Rebekah
    Alice sat puffing in the waiting room of the small casting office in Studio City. The stairs had rendered her breathless. Though