Alice in La La Land by Sophie Lee

father was a prominent federal minister. Once she had joined a street theatre troupe who performed bare-chested on a busy Saturday in a popular shopping district. They shouted things like, 'Would you go out with a man who eats meat? Never!' and banged their drums. Photos of the incident had appeared in the national newspaper accompanied by disparaging comments about Minister Chadwick. From then on, he was never really comfortable with her career choice. Despite being told she had a great head for radio at graduation, she had gone on to do years of top-notch work for the state theatre company.
    'Mind if we pop outside for some fresh air?' Flick suggested.
    'Yeah, sure,' Alice replied. She caught her mother's eye across the room. 'Stepping out for five,' she mouthed. Alice could see that Bunny had finished with the theatre critic and was now bending her mum's ear out of shape.
    Alice and Flick stepped out into the small courtyard at the front of the theatre. The night was warm and they could hear the traffic humming along Cleveland Street. A small throng of devoted smokers had also gathered to service their addiction. A big moth fluttered close to Alice's head and she batted it away. Flick had a joint lit up within seconds and offered Alice a toke.
    'No thanks. I've got to keep my producer's hat on for another hour at least.'
    'Well, old chum,' Flick said, dragging deeply on the joint for a second time, 'you looked good up there.'
    'Oh God. Was it really that bad?'
    'It wasn't great,' Flick sighed, looking down at the lit joint between her fingers and exhaling a plume of smoke.
    'But Act One . . .' pleaded Alice.
    '. . . was good, but all that postmodern stuff at the end really lost the audience.'
    'Oh shit.' Alice turned to check that her mum wasn't coming out, 'poor Conrad.'
    'I shouldn't worry about him too much, m'dear. He's got the Vienna Theatre Company to keep him warm.'
    'What?' gasped Alice. Her face felt numb.
    'Oops. Oh shit. He hasn't told you.' Flick extinguished the joint and kept the remains to smoke later. Alice felt a wave of nausea almost overwhelm her and thought for a
moment she would faint. She shook her head and opened her mouth to speak. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now.
    'Look, Flick, thanks for the heads up, but I've got to go back in there. Are you coming to the after-after party at Bar Licks?'
    'Yeah.' She looked at her friend and cocked her head to one side. 'You did a great job up there despite all that. A one-legged pole dancer! Who would've thunk it! How did you get your leg to look so wooden?'
    'That was easy,' laughed Alice, 'it just had to match the rest of my performance.' She turned and walked back inside.
    At 11.35 pm Alice heard Shauna's Mustang pull up in the back. She wasn't playing her usual heavy-metal music, and she shouted up from below before she'd switched off the engine.
    'Alice? Alice, I'm coming! Frickin' battery died!' Alice could hear her taking the stairs two at a time. 'Piece of crap car! I've got your hista-anti-mines!'
    Alice heard her running through the laundry. Shauna stood panting by the bathroom door and held up a paper bag. Her face was damp with sweat and she waved the bag in triumph.
    'Aww, don't cry, Alice,' said Shauna, 'don't cry.'
    Shauna opened the packet of antihistamines and tipped her toothbrush out of its plastic Power Rangers cup on the sink. She gave it a quick rinse then filled it with cold water from the tap. She squeezed a pill out of the pack and
held out her palm. It was possibly the most enormous pill Alice had ever seen.
    'Bloody hell, are you sure you didn't get the ones they give to elephants by mistake?'
    Shauna shook her head and handed her the cup. Alice tipped her head back and tried to swallow the pill. On her third attempt, she willed herself to relax her throat completely and managed to get it down, chasing it with a mouthful of water. The pill felt as though it were sitting under her breastbone.
    'God, LA tap water