All Falls Down by Ayden K. Morgen

whatever this is. That doesn't make the guilt any less bitter to swallow. All I want is for the wavering lines between us to solidify. I need them to solidify, and they aren't.
    What's wrong with me?
    "I think I'm going to head to bed," I murmur to Kit, dying to escape before I do something monumentally stupid. Simply being in the same room with him after avoiding him all week is too much.
    "Yeah, me too," Kits says, pushing up from the sofa.
    She offers me her hand and I smile gratefully, allowing her to help pull me to my feet. My back has healed nicely, but getting up and down is still sometimes difficult. I'm beginning to think it always will be.
    Pushing the thought away, I quietly wish Kit good luck telling Lexi and Maddi what she's decided about school. I know it's going to be difficult for them, but they won't hold it against her. It's been nearly a month since Matthew passed. She needs to get out and face the world.
    And when are you going to go out and face the world? a little voice in the back of my mind asks me.
    It's a valid question. One I don't know how to answer.
    Kit hugs me tight before breaking away.
    "I'll walk you, Savannah," Jared offers then.
    I whip my head in his direction, only to find him still staring off into the distance. But he pushes away from the wall and steps toward me.
    What happened between him and Lexi tonight?
    "Thanks, Jared," Kit says and starts gathering up the magazines spread across the family room. "I'll send Maddi up to bed."
    Jared's head turns in my direction and I quickly avert my gaze, deciding that whatever happened with him and Lexi isn't my business. It's between them. Them. Him and Lexi.
    How many times am I going to have to chant that same phrase before it sinks in? How long am I going to have to avoid him before guilt stops smothering me every time I catch a flash of him?
    "Ah, no thanks," I murmur, avoiding actually looking at him again. The last thing I need is to get caught up in his gaze with Kit standing right here. And I'm not foolish enough to believe it won't happen, not when I can feel his eyes on me. "You don't have to do that."
    "I insist," he says as I shuffle my feet.
    The urge to duck past him and make a run for it pulses so hard, my knees actually tremble.
    "No, I–" I flounder for a reason, any reason, to keep him here.
    "Sav, it's after midnight," Kit interrupts before I can think of a single excuse. "Let him walk you to the guesthouse."
    Him and Lexi.
    What's going on between them?
    I risk a glance at him just as he lifts his gaze to me. I'm instantly sucked into jade green just like I knew I would be. The urge to reach out and touch him flares hard, and I have to curl my hands into fists to keep from following through. His gaze roves over my face as if he's searching for something.
    I can't help but notice the way he visibly relaxes now that his eyes are on me. I also can't help but notice that I'm suddenly more relaxed too, as if that thing that's been missing for the last week is suddenly within reach again. Warmth, safety… I don't know what it is, but it's there nonetheless.
    I also feel that same current. The one that causes my heart to thunder in my chest and my skin to hum.
    This is so not good.
    He swallows hard and takes a step back as if he knows exactly what I'm going through.
    I tear my gaze away from him again and shiver when the little bubble around the two of us pops. I hurriedly look to Kit, who's still gathering up magazines, completely oblivious to whatever that was.
    Guilt hits me hard as I watch her move around the room. She's a smaller replica of Lexi, petite and curvy where Lexi's thin and willowy.
    God, please , I pray. I'm not even sure I believe in God, and he's never answered any of my prayers before. Why would tonight be any different?
    "I'll see you tomorrow," I murmur to Kit and all but flee the room. I don't even spare another glance at Jared. I can't. It's just too much. Everything about him is too much for me. And I am