Almost Infamous: A Supervillain Novel by Matt Carter Page A

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    “Show’s over,” some guy with an Irish accent said from across the room. “Time to get some sleep.”
    There were scattered mutters of agreement. Not from me, though. She winked at me! Maybe that meant she knew who I was! Maybe that meant I stood a chance! I mean, she was putting out on the first night, so I guess that meant anyone—and by anyone I mean I—had to stand a chance at nailing her too, right?

#Supervillainy101: Locust Lad & Illusor
    All the best superheroes had their rogues’ gallery of villains. I’m sure a lot of them would want you to think that they had some major vendettas against these particular heroes, but more often than not it came down to them being unable to afford working any city other than the one their particular hero operated in.
    Of all the heroes that operated in the last days of the Silver Age, before the War on Villainy, perhaps the most colorful rogues’ gallery belonged to Locust Lad. Though Denver was not as illustrious a center for superheroism as Los Angeles, New York, or Amber City, it attracted a surprising number of mad scientists specializing in experiments gone awry, giving it one of the highest populations of supervillains per capita in the United States. Though only possessing the powers bestowed upon him by a radioactive grasshopper (or was it a mystical grasshopper totem? He’s never been clear on his origin), Locust Lad fought them all for years, even when his voice started to break and he redubbed himself Locust Man.
    The least respected of all his villains was Illusor. An ex-magician, he was utterly pitiful in a fight, instead relying on parlor tricks and flashy illusions to escape. He rarely engaged Locust Lad in direct fights, preferring to distract him to the opposite side of the city from where he plotted his evil schemes, and when he did have to engage the hero, it was with a shotgun.
    No weapon themed to his outfit, no witty quips, just a shotgun.
    Purist villain fans hate him for having some of the most boring hero-villain fights of the War on Villainy.
    I think his record speaks for itself.
    Of the forty-two villains usually counted among Locust Lad’s rogue’s gallery, Illusor was the last one captured. He used his tricks and illusions to stay hidden until long after the War on Villainy ended and the Digital Age of Superheroes began, surrendering himself in 2009. Apparently, after a cancer scare, he found God and decided it was the “right thing to do.”
    All right, the “Illusor Sucks” crowd does have some points.
    # LessonLearned: Sometimes being flashy is better than being dangerous.
    #LessonLearned: Also, don’t find God.

6
SHOW AND TELL DAY
    Nevermore.
    Her name was Nevermore. She was from Paris, France, a Virgo, could make her tattoos become real world objects, was a huge fan of Edgar Allen Poe, and was “a shining blossom of femininity whose petals only needed the slightest of coaxing to bloom.” These were all details I got from Artok on the breakfast line. He said he’d gotten what he needed from her and that I was welcome to her if I wanted.
    I did.
    Knowing that I did was the easy part.
    Knowing what to do next wasn’t.
    I’d never been on a date and had never been able to muster the courage to even ask Kelly Shingle out, and she was only the prettiest girl at school.
    Out here, surrounded by some of the hottest bad girls in the world, I needed some serious help.
    Lacking Vic for advice on such matters, I went to the few people I knew well enough to ask for advice.
    Odigjod didn’t know much of human courtship, and I’m still doing my best to forget the nightmarish details he provided on the imp reproductive process.
    Felix was gay, so I didn’t think he’d be much help.
    I was sure Firewall had experience asking girls out, but for some reason she was offended by my question and threatened to blow me to pieces if I ever asked it again.
    Showstopper went into a long-winded speech about how a good sense of humor, listening