Bingo Brown's Guide to Romance by Betsy Byars

here?”
    â€œNo, they’re off celebrating my father’s return to being normal.”
    â€œI wish my father would do that,” Melissa said wistfully. “He hasn’t been normal since he lost his first job, and that was over a year ago.”
    They crossed the living room and sat together on the sofa. The sofa wasn’t used to being sat on by two people at the exact same time and gave a surprised whoosh.
    Bingo pressed the mute button on the TV remote control, and a silence filled living room.
    Melissa reached out and took Jamie’s hand. She held it absently. Then she looked directly into Bingo’s eyes.
    She sighed.
    And there was something about that sigh that let Bingo know Melissa was getting ready to say something that would change his life forever.

The Best Mixed-Sex Conversation in the History of the World
    B INGO WAITED, HIS HEART pumping anxiously against his brother’s jumpsuit.
    â€œI came to say good-bye,” Melissa said.
    These were the last words Bingo wanted to hear. He asked, “Good-bye?” and then gave his own answer. “You’re saying good-bye.”
    She glanced down and nodded. When she looked up, her eyelashes were wet.
    Bingo had never looked into eyes framed in wet eyelashes, and he was deeply affected. He blinked to keep his own eyelashes dry.
    â€œThen you aren’t back to stay?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œI didn’t know. Nobody told me. I just hoped.”
    â€œI did, too. We were going to stay with my cousin Weezie while Dad looked for a job. I was really looking forward to it—being back here, seeing all my friends … seeing you.”
    She shook her head and her hair fanned out about her face. “But it wouldn’t have worked anyway.”
    â€œWhy, Melissa? Why?”
    â€œOh, at first it was fun. It was like being in a dormitory. And then little things started happening, like Shirl used Brenda’s fingernail polish and didn’t put the top back on. And Libby used up all the hot water and Bettie had to shampoo with cold. And Weezie claimed I ruined her hair. I didn’t ruin it. Half of it was perfect. You saw it!”
    Bingo nodded.
    â€œAnyway, it was just one thing after another, Bingo.”
    Bingo nodded sympathetically. “Life’s like that sometimes.”
    â€œAnyway, my dad’s found a job—of sorts—in a muffler shop in Pickens, South Carolina. He doesn’t want to go to Pickens, and I don’t either. Neither does my mom—she calls it Slim Pickens—but we’re going.”
    â€œPickens will be better with you in it.”
    â€œOh, thank you.” She swallowed. Even her gulp had a beautiful sound.
    â€œI hope you can forgive me, Bingo.”
    â€œOf course,” he said quickly. As usual, he had spoken too quickly. “For what?”
    â€œFor acting so funny.”
    â€œI act funny myself at times,” Bingo admitted. He continued in a rush. “Like, I write a letter and mail the Xerox of the letter, and nobody—least of all somebody in love—would do that except out of stupidity.”
    â€œOr out of too much emotion.”
    Bingo felt a flush of gratitude. “I certainly have that.”
    â€œAnd when I get emotional—I can’t explain it, but that’s the way I was in the grocery store, and I don’t know, I mean, well, you didn’t look like I remembered. You looked older.”
    â€œOlder?” This was one of the best mixed-sex conversations in the history of the world. There was not a word in it that wasn’t perfect. Bingo would have liked to have a tape of it, even though it would play in his memory forever.
    â€œAnd, I don’t know, I just couldn’t speak. I’m not explaining this very well.”
    â€œYou are. You are! I couldn’t speak either.”
    â€œReally, Bingo?”
    â€œYes.”
    She smiled, and he thought of an old-timey phrase he had read in a