An Improper Deal (Elliot & Annabelle #1) (Billionaires' Brides of Convenience Book 3) by Nadia Lee

I’m still a genius.”
    “Oh, right. And ninety-nine percent of your IQ is dedicated to getting into trouble, and the rest is spent on ensuring that you can breathe on your own.”
    “Fuck you.”
    “No thanks, I’m happy with Paige.” He pauses. “Have you finally found a stripper to marry?”
    “I have.”
    “Is she hot?”
    “Do you really have to ask?” She’s more than hot.
    He pauses for a moment, then lowers his voice. “Can she actually talk?”
    “Of course she can talk!”
    “Okay, no need to get testy. Based on what you said before, it kind of sounded like you wanted a vegetable with nice tits and an ass.”
    I almost snort, but his description isn’t entirely off-base. She was stiffer than a fresh cucumber on that stage where I first saw her.
    And she does have the most incredible tits and ass. I can’t wait to get her naked. Wonder how sensitive she’ll be… Maybe I can make her come just by licking that area between her upper lip and gum. Some women can—
    “You’re quiet, and now I’m worried,” Ryder says.
    “Well, don’t be. She’s fully vocal. We’re getting married next week.”
    “That fast?”
    “Why wait? This isn’t about romance.”
    “True enough. What’s her name? Honey Pott?”
    This time I do allow myself to snort out loud. “No, you cliché-spouting idiot. It’s An”—I catch myself—“Gigi.”
    “Pretty name.”
    “Thought so too. Thanks for introducing us.”
    “Huh? How am I responsible for this?”
    “She came out of the cake you sent.”
    “What cake?”
    I pull the phone away from my ear and look at it. “The birthday cake! You said you’d send me one.”
    “Oh,
thaaaat
.” He sniffs. “Well, I can’t take the credit here. Fact is, I forgot.”
    “You…forgot?”
    “Uh-huh.”
    “Well then who sent it?”
    “No idea. Maybe Blake?”
    “Nah. He’s too uptight.”
    “Normally, yeah, but he’s pissed off about Dad’s bullshit—”
    “God, who isn’t pissed off about Dad’s bullshit?”
    “—so maybe he did it anyway to help you along.”
    I don’t know about that. Blake is…very uptight. “If he’s that mad, he should set Elizabeth up with someone.”
    “I think he only knows sociopaths like Dane. They’re like best friends,” Ryder says.
    “Yeah, but that’s better than the folks in our crowd.” We tend to hang out with a wild bunch.
    There’s a pause. “Yeah. I can’t think of a single guy I’d be okay with.”
    “No shit.” Elizabeth is far too pure for any of the filthy reprobates we know.
    “We should get her a virgin,” Ryder says.
    I actually spew scotch. Some of it gets on the coffee table. “A
what?
From where? Junior high?”
    “I’m sure there are some left…you know…somewhere.”
    I shake my head. “She’d kill us if she knew we were talking about pairing her up with an altar boy.”
    “Hey, don’t knock it. It’s her fault for being my younger sister. I know all there is to know about assholes.” He pauses for a moment and murmurs something to someone. It sounds like Paige. “I gotta go. When’s the wedding? Maybe we can make it.”
    “Sometime soon, preferably next Tuesday. But don’t bother. You’re on your honeymoon.”
    “All right, if you’re sure.”
    “I’m sure. Give Paige a kiss from me.”
    “My wife isn’t getting shit from you.” He hangs up with a laugh.
    I toss the phone on the couch and replace my scotch. What Ryder said starts to tickle my brain, and not in a good way.
    If he didn’t send the cake, who did?
    * * *
    Annabelle
    “You have to tell me all about him!” Nonny says, her eyes bright. I don’t know how she’s been able to wait.
    “What’s there to say?”
    “Ohmygod! Are you freaking kidding me? You’ve been dating that hottie and you never said a word! So unfair, Anna. So unfair. I know you’re mad that I got into his car, but seriously, the more I think about it, the madder I am that you never breathed a word. I’m your
sister
. You