Archie's Unbelievably Freaky Week by Andrew Norriss Page A

a thud on the hall floor, and found the woman with the tattoo was sitting on his chest.

    Archie was used to odd things happening to him – they happened to him every day – but all this was odder than usual, even for him.
    ‘I don’t believe it!’ said a voice. ‘Miss Hurrell? What are you doing?’
    To Archie’s relief, Mr Gunn, the Head Teacher, was running down the corridor towards them, the secretary hurrying along behind him.
    ‘He came at me with a knife,’ said the woman with the tattoo. ‘I had no choice.’
    ‘Oh, please!’ said Mr Gunn. ‘This is Archie, the boy I told you about! For goodness sake get up and let him breathe.’
    The woman with the tattoo did as she was told, and Mr Gunn asked Archie if he was all right.
    ‘Ho,’ said Archie.
    ‘He came at me with a knife,’ the woman with the tattoo repeated. ‘He said he wanted to kill me!’
    ‘Kill you?’ said Mr Gunn. ‘What are you talking about? Why would Archie want to kill you?’
    ‘He seems to think,’ said the woman with the tattoo, ‘that I murdered his father.’
    The Head Teacher stared at her.
    So did Archie.
    ‘I saw him stealing a handbag,’ said the woman with the tattoo, ‘from someone he’d mugged in the car park, and I was coming down to tell the office to call the police, when I found him in the hallway and he gave me this note.’ She held it out. ‘Here. You can read it yourself.’

    The Head Teacher took the note. ‘
You murdered my father
 . . .’ he said, reading it aloud, ‘ . . .
and for this you must die
.’ He looked at Archie, puzzled. ‘You
really
think Miss Hurrell murdered your father?’
    ‘Ho!’ said Archie. ‘Ha horse hot!’
    ‘So why did you write this?’ asked Mr Gunn. ‘I don’t understand how . . .’ He stopped, and let out a sigh of relief. ‘Ah, Cyd! Thank goodness you’re here!’

    Archie was as relieved as the Head Teacher to see Cyd. She was his best friend and, more importantly, Cyd was the one who seemed to sort everything out when odd things happened to him.
    ‘Miss Hurrell says Archie mugged someone in the car park, stole their bag, then came into school and tried to murder her,’ said Mr Gunn. ‘You don’t know what really happened, do you?’
    ‘I’ve already told you what happened!’ said the woman with the tattoo. ‘He came at me with a knife—’
    ‘Please!’ The Head Teacher held up his hand and turned back to Cyd. ‘Can you explain any of this?’
    ‘Well, I can explain about the note,’ said Cyd, who had been studying it. ‘I think you were reading the wrong side. The
You murdered my father
bit is the first line of a story we have to write for Miss Jensen. On the other side it says
Mrs Boyd is in the car park with her arm stuck down a drain
. I expect that’s what Archie was trying to tell you. He probably found her, and she asked him to go and get help.’
    ‘Hess!’ said Archie. ‘Hat’s hite!’
    ‘I expect she asked him to take her bag to the kitchens as well,’ Cyd continued, thoughtfully, ‘so that they had the menu and could make a start on lunch.’
    ‘And what about the knife?’ asked the Head Teacher.
    ‘Well,’ said Cyd, ‘I’m only guessing, but Archie may have wanted to show Miss Hurrell the menu, to explain why he had the bag, and had to take out the knife to get it.’ She looked at Archie. ‘Is that right?’
    ‘Hess,’ said Archie, looking very relieved. ‘Hess! Hat’s hite!’

    There was a long pause.
    ‘I . . . I don’t believe it!’ said Miss Hurrell.
    ‘No,’ said Mr Gunn. ‘Nobody ever does.’

    The Head Teacher sorted everything out very efficiently. He sent Archie and Cyd to the kitchens with Mrs Boyd’s bag, he sent Miss Hurrell, the woman with the tattoo, back to her classroom, and then went out to the car park to look after Mrs Boyd.
    On the way back from the kitchens, Cyd told Archie about their new teacher.
    ‘She’s quite interesting, really,’ said Cyd. ‘Mr Gunn told us