Aryn's Desire: A BOLD Security Novel (Finding Submission Book 1) by Zoey Derrick Page A

right and you know it.”  
    “Says who?” Her voice is hurt, and the expression on her face tells me that she isn’t used to rejection, and frankly, I’m not all that used to dishing it out when it comes to the point of kissing someone.  
    “Says me. We have to work together.”  
    “So?”  
    “Jesus, woman, do you sleep with everyone that walks through the door to help you guys?” My voice comes out a little harsher than I intended and I’m immediately torn between apologizing to her and letting it go.  
    “No, I’m not a slut,” she scoffs.  
    “I didn’t say you were. Look, I don’t think this is a good idea.”  
    “But it would feel so good,” she whines.  
    She can say that again. She would probably be the best I’ve had in a long time, but I am so afraid of my own expectations that I cannot bring myself to give into this, not tonight anyway.  
    The play party comes to mind quickly and I wonder if it might not be a bad idea to have an outlet after that is over. “Let’s just take it easy for tonight, alright?” Jesus, what the fuck am I saying? Who the hell am I and what’s happened to me?  
    Her expression changes from shock and rejection to a more passive one. “So you’re not saying no?” She presses her lips into a thin line.  
    “For tonight? Yes, I’m saying no.” She pouts again. “But that doesn’t mean that I won’t say yes another time.”
    The ‘promise’ in my voice is enough to pacify her for now. She leans in and gives me a chaste kiss. “Alright,” she says before leaving my room.  
    As soon as the door closes, I throw the covers off and move around the bed to the door, locking it quickly before returning to the bed. Shedding my pajama bottoms as I go.  
    My cock stands hard as a fucking rock thanks to her. Regardless of rejecting her, he never went down. “What the hell?” I say to my cock before gripping it in my hand and lying back down on the bed.  
    Images of her fill my mind. Yeah, you’re an idiot, Becker.  

    I passed out shortly after coming all over myself like an idiot. Jesus, it took more than I had to not pull my pajamas back on and go find her and take her for myself. She made it too easy for me and maybe that’s part of why I rejected her. Either that or some stupid logical part of my mind took over my mouth and pushed her away because it was the right thing to do. Fuck that. It wasn’t the right thing to do, it was selfish. Sleeping with her now, the first night I’m here, with two weeks left to work with her would be torture to both her and myself. I never sleep with the same woman twice. Sleeping with her once and being here for two weeks means I’d have to reject her, hurt her, or worse, put my job in jeopardy.
    Sure, I’ve had women hit on me. It’s been that way for years, and sometimes their initiative leads to me taking them someplace private and having my way with them. But more often than not, the girls I take for myself are ones I’ve intigated and convinced into going into a dark corner with me.  

    I wake up around one. With the three hour time difference from California to here, I can’t say that I’m surprised. Sean had told me that they didn’t need me for anything today so it is my day to do as I please.  
    I text Dex to find out where they are.  

    Dex to Beck : ‘bout time. We’ve been waiting for you.  
    Beck to Dex : you could have called, fucker.  
    Dex to Beck : hardly, get dressed, Raine and I are going into town.

    Well, fuck.  

    Beck to Dex : give me 20.  

    I take a quick shower, dress and strap up, before walking out of my room with two minutes to spare. I try and find my way back to the main part of the house. Running smack into Celeste.
    “Where’s the fire?” she teases.  
    “Uh…” Fuck, I almost slept with this chick last night. And daylight hasn’t given me much more perspective on whether or not I want to actually sleep with her. She still looks gorgeous, even dressed in