As Luck Would Have It by Mark Goldstein

her life that fashioned her beliefs, which I was never able to figure out since she grew up at around the same time and in essentially the same environment as my mother, who was in reality nothing like her sister. Despite her often acerbic nature, they made for good siblings and stayed close throughout their lives.  Aunt Doreen appeared stoic following the loss of her sister, but I suspected, and Uncle Jack confirmed for me later on , when things were calmer and more settled, that she was more than badly shaken by tragedy, she was very nearly broken.
    She had opinions on everything, but almost never were they based on anything empirical.  Her prejudices seemed to result from some internal formulation , rather than from any particular experience.  She disagreed with almost everyone and incongruity seemed to follow behind her wherever she moved, like a late day shadow.  I don’t think that she was really all that bigoted ; just not able to accept differences in people that in her view she could find no reason for or obligation to.  With a discernible dislike for most groups, and a condescending tone to go along with it , she was aloof on her best days and openly hostile on others.
    So it should come as no surprise to you as you read this that Aunt Doreen’s attitude towards gay people was far from what you might consider to be progressive.  Gee Clifford, you might be thinking, this was only 1974 after all, with the gay rights movement still slogging along through its preadolescence.  Aren’t you looking down at her attitudes from the more enlightened perspective of 2020, when gays and lesbians have become well integrated in nearly every western culture, where they are allowed serve openly in the military of every modern democracy, even the United States, following the landmark decision in Congress in 2011 that found the separation or exclusion of gays in the military had no justification and was probably unconstitutional?  Are you really being fair in judging her, a relatively uneducated woman born before the United States entered World War II?
    She may have been born before the war, but she grew up, and her mind-set formed, well after it.  She wasn’t crazy about Jews either and on the two or three occasions when she’d been to a party my parents had thrown where the Kleins also attended, she didn’t do well in hiding her feelings towards them.  Yes, Edith Klein was a little loud at times and sure, Harold pushed his way a bit through the buffet line when my mother brought out her wonderful roast beef, but so what?  I could hardly wait my turn to get some myself , even as my mother would reproach me just a little and remind me of the virtue of being patient, which surely her sister Doreen never was.  But for whatever reasons that only they shared or understood, Doreen and Mom cherished their relationship.  That’s just the way it is, my mother would explain, if anyone raised an eyebrow.  So that’s why, I guess, that I found myself living in Aunt Doreen’s house by Christmas of 1974.  That’s just the way it is.

Seven
Scotch and Doughnuts
    I was sullen and quiet over the following weeks .  School presented an interesting paradox in that it was often difficult to concentrate and my grades fell by a letter or more down the alphabet, but at the same time the harshness of middle school seemed to have eased up and I didn’t hate being there like before.   It was an escape from being at home, which I found to be nearly intolerable.  There was still so much around the house to remind me of what had happened; so many unresolved issues so up close, with Aunt Doreen and Uncle Jack having to attend to the many details while at the same time having to deal with the sudden appearance of me, a grief-stricken and angry teenager in their presence.
    I doubted that it was really out of compassion, but the teachers seemed nicer to me and even Jamie showed a touch of human kindness by ignoring me or just nodding a bit