Baby Doll & Tiger Tail by Tennessee Williams

smile you got on your puss?
    BABY DOLL : Don’t pick on Aunt Rose. . . .
    ARCHIE [
shouting
]: Put some food on the table!! [
Then muttering dangerously
.] I’m going to have a talk with that old woman, right here tonight. She’s outstayed her welcome.
    SILVA : What a pretty blue wrapper you’re wearing tonight, Mrs. Meighan.
    BABY DOLL [
coyly
]: Thank you, Mr. Vacarro.
    SILVA : There’s so many shades of blue. Which shade is that?
    BABY DOLL : Just baby blue.
    ARCHIE : Baby blue, huh!
    SILVA : It brings out the blue of your eyes.
    ARCHIE [
screaming
]: Food! Food!
    AUNT ROSE : Immediately! This instant!
    [
She comes through the door from the kitchen, holding a big plate of greens, which she sets on the table with great apprehension. They are not really cooked. Archie stares at them
.]
    103] CLOSE SHOT OF GREENS, WHICH ARE ALMOST RAW.
    104] CLOSE SHOT OF ARCHIE SWEARING UNDER HIS BREATH.
    105] GROUP SCENE.
    BABY DOLL : This wrapper was part of my trousseau, as a matter of fact. I got all my trousseau at Memphis at various departments where my daddy was known. Big department stores on Main Street.
    ARCHIE : WHAT IS THIS STUFF??!! GRASS??!!
    BABY DOLL : Greens! Don’t you know greens when you see them?
    ARCHIE : This stuff is greens?!!
    [
Aunt Rose comes nervously from the pantry
.]
    AUNT ROSE : Archie Lee dotes on greens, don’t you, Archie Lee?
    ARCHIE : No, I don’t.
    AUNT ROSE : You don’t? You don’t dote on greens?
    ARCHIE : I don’t think I ever declared any terrible fondness for greens in your presence.
    AUNT ROSE : Well, somebody did.
    ARCHIE : Somebody did—sometime, somewhere, but that don’t mean it was me!
    [
He lurches back in his chair and half rises, swinging to face Vacarro—who has taken Baby Doll’s hand under the table
.
    [
Vacarro smiles blandly
.]
    BABY DOLL : Sit back down, Big Shot, an’ eat your greens. Greens puts iron in the system.
    AUNT ROSE : I thought that Archie Lee doted on greens! —All those likes and dislikes are hard to keep straight in your head. But Archie Lee’s easy to cook for. Jim’s a complainer, oh, my, what a complainer Jim is, and Susie’s household, they’re nothing but complainers.
    ARCHIE :
Take this slop off th’ table!!
    AUNT ROSE [
terrified
]: I’ll—cook you some—eggs Birmingham! —These greens didn’ cook long enough. I played a fool trick with my stove. I forgot to light it! Ha ha! When I went to the store—I had my greens on the stove. I thought I’d left ’em boilin’. But when I got home I discovered that my stove wasn’t lighted.
    ARCHIE : Why do you say “my” stove? Why is everything “my”?
    BABY DOLL : Archie Lee, I believe you been drinkin’!
    ARCHIE : You keep out of this! Set down, Aunt Rose.
    AUNT ROSE : —Do what, Archie Lee?
    ARCHIE : Set down here. I want to ask you a question.
    [
Aunt Rose sits down slowly and stiffly, all atremble
.]
    What sort of—plans have you made?
    AUNT ROSE : Plans, Archie Lee? What sort of plans do you mean?
    ARCHIE : Plans for the future!
    BABY DOLL : I don’t think this kind of discussion is necessary in front of company.
    SILVA : Mr. Meighan, when a man is feeling uncomfortable over something, it often happens that he takes out his annoyance on some completely innocent person just because he has to make somebody suffer.
    ARCHIE : You keep outa this, too. I’m askin’ Aunt Rose a perfectly sensible question. Now, Aunt Rose. You been here since August and that’s a mighty long stay. Now, it’s my honest opinion that you’re in need of a rest. You been cookin’ around here and cookin’ around there for how long now? How long have you been cookin’ around people’s houses?
    AUNT ROSE [
barely able to speak
]: I’ve helped out my—relatives, my—folks—whenever they—
needed me to!
I was always—
invited!
Sometimes—
begged
to come! When
babies
were expected or when somebody was
sick
, they called for AuntRose, and Aunt Rose was always—ready. . . .