Bad as in Good by J. Lovelace Page A

feeling it.
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    I went the entire day without calling Loraine back and apologizing. I kinda wanted her to call me first and have my apology be a response to hers. But as I walked into my big empty apartment, I was compelled to pick up my phone and face the problem I had caused. However, as always, a knock at the door interrupted my plans.
    When I opened my door, my initial hope that I’d see Loraineon the other side holding a bottle of wine and a Waiting to Exhale DVD in her hand was cast aside by the appearance of Tariq’s face.
    I rubbed the skin between my eyes and placed my phone back in its holder. “What are you doing here?”
    For the first time, I wasn’t dizzy from his fragrance. When I stared in his eyes, my knees didn’t go weak. My stance was firm and unwavering.
    â€œCan I come in?” He looked good, too. He never spared me the opportunity to see him in a shirt that caressed his skin in ways that revealed his muscles or pants that gripped a butt I could imagine myself grabbing between my thighs. Still, I was steady.
    â€œNo. I have plans.” I pushed the door to shut it in his face, but he held it before I got the chance.
    â€œI’m not tryna spend the night. I wanna talk about the other night.”
    â€œWhy? You had your chance to talk and you walked out.”
    â€œYou kicked me out.”
    I looked down at his hand that held on to my doorknob. “You need to leave, Tariq. I have better things to do.”
    â€œYou not gonna give me the chance to explain?”
    â€œYou had ample time to explain yourself. All of a sudden I’m supposed to stand here and let you tell me some bullshit story you came up with because you decided to?”
    He licked his lips and scratched the back of his head. “You’re right. I should’ve talked to you ’bout all this but…I dunno. I…I’ve been real out of it lately.”
    I shook my head. “Tariq, I can’t do this tonight. Like I said, I have plans.”
    When he didn’t say anything in response, I could tell he didn’t expect to hear me deny him. I wasn’t quietly beggin’ for him torip off my clothes or suck on my lips. I honestly wanted the chance not to cave in to a man who didn’t deserve it. He let go of the doorknob and nodded his head. “All right. I can respect that.”
    â€œGood.” I tried to close the door but he held it. I breathed deeply and twisted my hip to the side. “What, Tariq?”
    â€œCall me when you get free, though.” I nodded my head. “I’m serious, Erin. Call me.”
    â€œOkay.” I closed the door and abandoned all plans to call Loraine. Her apology could wait. Tonight, I reveled in my win over a man who I used to let win every time before.
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    I called Loraine the next morning but got her voicemail. I assumed she went in to work early, but by the time five o’clock hit, I realized that she wasn’t tryna speak to me. I was hurt but not hurt enough to beg her for her a phone call—not yet at least. When I walked up the stairs to my apartment, I noticed a half-dressed woman lying on the floor in front of my door. I pulled out my cell phone and prepared to call the authorities if necessary. By the time I reached her, I realized that it was Teona passed out at my doorstep. I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath.
    I called Loraine again. This time, it rang twice before going straight to voicemail. Certain that she was ignoring my calls, I opted to send her a text informing her of her little sister’s whereabouts. Once my text was sent, I nudged Teona awake and unlocked the door. “What are you doin’ here, Teona?”
    She looked up at me as if she didn’t recognize me. We stared at each other for a second. She looked around to verify her surroundings. “Erin?” she asked.
    â€œGet inside,