Beautifully Broken by Amanda Bennett Page A

happening. How could I be so fucking stupid and
irresponsible? I can’t tell him Hannah. If this is what it is, he CAN’T know!”
My hand came to rest on my lower abdomen as I listened for Hannah to give me some
words of wisdom, in an already fucked up situation.
     
    “Bennett you can’t be
serious. Slow down for a second. Of course you have to tell Gray. He is the
father. He would want to know something like this. I honestly think, he would
be happy about it.” I could hear the faint trace of happiness in her voice and
it scared the shit out of me.
     
    “NO HANNAH! He would leave
me. He is going to think I trapped him, like I did this on purpose. Oh my God,
what am I going to do?” I could feel the hot tears falling down my clammy
cheeks. I swiped away the ones that I could catch but in a minute flat, I was
all but balling my eyes out.
     
    “I’m on my way over. Stay
there Bennett! I’m serious, I’ll be right over.”
     
    Our phone call ended second
later. I sat cross-legged on my bed staring into my closet. I was at a loss for
words, in the midst of trying to comprehend the never-ending thoughts that were
floating through my mind. I hadn’t heard Hannah let herself into my house,
until she was sitting next to me. Her arm rest around my shoulders as I pushed
my face into her chest. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
     
    Eventually, I pulled myself
together. As I emerged from the bathroom I noticed Hannah holding a long white
and pink box. It only took me a second to figure out exactly what it was.
     
    I cocked my head to the side
with my brows pulled together, “Hannah, I’m not taking that!” I knew it was
inevitable that I was going to have to or suffer through the rest of today and
all day tomorrow before seeing a doctor. I rolled my eyes at her out stretched
hand, and then ripped the box from her fingers. “I’m only doing this to prove
you wrong, understand?” With a nod of her head, I turned around and slowly
walked the five feet back into my bathroom.
     
    After I closed the door, I
stood staring at the little white and pink box that would change our lives
forever. I wasn’t ready to be a mom, even if by some miracle Gray was ready. I
pulled the contents out of the box, did as the instructions said and waited the
three longest minutes of my life. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the stick
myself. I covered my eyes and motioned for Hannah to come read it. I took a
deep breath and held it in until Hannah spoke.
     
    “I’m so sorry Bennett.” Her
arms were already wrapped around me as I struggled to break free from her tight
hold. “I promise, everything will be okay. We can figure this out.” Her words
were meant to be encouraging and supportive but they were anything but. She
finally let her arms fall to her sides. She wasn’t looking at me and I felt
hurt. I know I was pushing her away but still, she was all I had.
     
    I reached for the stick to
see the results for myself. Sure enough, clear as day two pink lines were
staring back at me. “I can’t believe this happened. We were so careful every
other time. It was just that once.” I brushed the loose strands of hair back
that had fallen out of my ponytail.
     
    “You know how the saying
goes, it only takes one time.” The sadness in her voice struck my heart with
blunt force. I was instantly kneeling down on the floor holding my face in my
hands, while the tears continued to roll down my already swollen cheeks.
     
    “I can’t keep it Hannah.” I
whispered low, not knowing if I wanted her to hear me.
     
    “Bennett, this isn’t the end
of the world. I think you would be an amazing mother. Hell, I even think Gray would be an amazing father. Any child would be lucky to have the both of you
for parents.”
     
    I lifted my chin enough to
see her face. She looked calm and peaceful, almost content with my news. “Han,
I’m not ready and neither is Gray. He still has nineteen weeks left. I know it
doesn’t seem that