Being Magdalene by Fleur Beale

can’t believe it. I just can’t .
    She fastened the bandage, her head bent to hide her face. At last she looked at me. ‘Do not endanger your immortal soul, my sister. I pray to the Lord you will guard it with everything you have.’
    ‘Do you believe Rebecca’s immortal soul is damned?’ I shouldn’t have asked her, but I had to know. ‘Do you believe it in your heart?’
    She winced away from me as if I’d slapped her.
    ‘I’m … I am sorry to cause you pain, Rachel. I will pray for forgiveness.’
    But do you believe the Elders when they say she is damned and doomed?
    She would tell Father. It would be the discipline room for me when he heard.
    Rachel started talking, but so quietly I had to strive to hear. ‘I truly do not know what to believe. I want her soul to be safe. I pray that it is. Every day, I pray for her and for … the others.’ She lifted her head to look at me. ‘I am so sorry, Magdalene. I know you are troubled, but …’ Her voice trailed away and there were tears in her eyes.
    ‘Thank you for talking to me,’ I said.
    She stroked her hand across my head again, and this time I found the gesture comforting.

Ten
    WHILE WE WAITED FOR Abraham to pick us up from school on Friday, I asked Luke, ‘Has he said anything to you? Has he told you what’s in his mind?’
    Luke shrugged. ‘Not a word. When I tried to talk to him, he just went off about the Elders, especially Elder Stephen. Some days I think, Yes, he’s definitely leaving . Then the next day he’ll be happy again. He loves his work. That’s the only thing keeping him here, I’m sure of it.’
    ‘Will Elder Stephen do what he did to Malachi?’ I shouldn’t have said that in front of Zillah — it was only one more thing for her to worry about — but it was too late now, so I went on. ‘Malachi loved his work too. Rebecca would be married to him and still here if Elder Stephen hadn’t stopped him working in the gardens.’
    Sure enough, Zillah flicked her eyes between us. ‘What do you mean? Who is Malachi? I thought Elder Stephen wanted to marry her. Tell me!’
    Luke gave me a look, but she knew so much of ourstory now, she might as well know the rest — especially if Elder Stephen reassigned Abraham like he’d done to Malachi. I said, ‘Malachi was betrothed to Rebecca, but he left the Faith because Elder Stephen said he had to be a plumber instead of a gardener.’
    Zillah gasped. ‘Will he do that?’
    Luke shook his head. ‘Abraham thinks Elder Stephen is too cunning to do that. He thinks the Elders are trying to get rid of him without being obvious about it. Everyone would know why he left if they said he couldn’t work with machinery. It’s too much the same as what they did to Malachi. People might start to ask questions.’
    ‘No, they won’t,’ Zillah said. ‘Nobody except us asks questions.’
    She sounded definite. ‘How do you know?’ I asked. ‘They wouldn’t talk about it where anybody else could hear them.’
    ‘Sharon doesn’t think the Rule is dumb. She’s always telling me off — she says, Think of your immortal soul, Zillah Pilgrim .’ It was a perfect imitation of Sharon’s way of speaking. ‘Eunice and Joy — they like the stupid Rule.’ She kicked the gravel, sending a stone bouncing off into the grass. ‘Sharon doesn’t kick stones. Joy and Eunice don’t either.’ She kicked another one.
    Abraham pulled up in the car. One look at him and we could see his mood was dark. He even made the engine sound angry. Luke said, ‘Chill, brother. What have the twelve old men done today?’
    Our brother slowed down, but sighed from thedepths of his endangered soul. ‘Nothing! That’s the trouble. Father asked them to give me permission to do an electronics course. No prizes for guessing what they said.’
    Father actually asked the Elders to break the Rule about worldly education?
    ‘Go, Father!’ Luke said. ‘You’ve got to admit it, Abraham. That’s a huge thing for him to