Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2) by Leigh Ann Lunsford Page B

seek pleasure elsewhere?” I stop for a breath because I want to continue my verbal punches. “It doesn’t work that way, big boy. See, next year will be my first time away from home, and I may want to see what I’m missing. Yep, that is exactly how it’s going to work. So, go and search the fuck away. Next year, I’ll be like fucking Dora, exploring right next to you.”
    “Bianca, it’s not like that. I love you, I’m just not sure it’s Callie and Bronson. He’s so sure in everything he does with her, and I’m floundering. Next year, when we’re together it won’t be so hard.”
    “You need to find your silence. Not another fucking word about it. You made your decision, one you will live to regret, but you made it. Bye, Dakota.” I don’t wait for him to speak but make my way upstairs to my room. I shut and lock my door, collapse on my bed. I cover my face with a pillow to muffle the sobs. He made me want love. He made me take a leap with the promise of catching me. In the end, it wasn’t enough. He let me go and led me into a free fall that entailed many scrapes and scars along the way. I was broken in this moment, and I remembered why I hated love. It wasn’t going to be a factor in my life anymore. I wasn’t ever going to be that girl again.

 

    For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been.’
    ~ John Greenleaf Whittier
     
     
    Chapter 10
    Dakota
     
     
    I’ll never forgive myself. I made a promise to her. She could trust me. I begged her to give me a chance, and when she did, I let it slip through my fingers. I don’t understand why I feel the way I do, but in my gut I know that she needs this. Her fears have weighed her down so long. She got a release when she talked to her dad; my initial reaction was to let her live. She can be free. She can soar like she’s wanted to but never allowed herself. Her dad’s words echo in my head, pinging side to side, ‘Never regret your decisions.’ I felt like I would be that regret and didn’t want to burden her.
    Bronson isn’t going into the special agent field of the DEA force, but I am. I want to find the fuckers who murdered my sister, and stop them along with the countless others. Yes, I know Dana liked her blow; nobody’s perfect. I’m not sweeping that under the rug, but her drug use didn’t harm anyone but herself. She never drove high. Never brought that shit into the house. Never used in front of me. We all have demons; we all have vices to quiet in our head . . . that should never justify murder.
    Her senior prom is tonight, and I know she’s going by herself. I’m the biggest jackass in the world who robbed her of a memory because I’m running scared. I love her, but I don’t want to be the cause of the haunted look in her eyes. Her relationship with her father is on track. She’s able to accept love and embrace him . . . her father and I will be on a crash course with my life in front of me. DEA agent and Mob Boss don’t work too well together. My goal is going to come at a price; my friendship with Bronson, my relationship with Bianca, but I can’t forsake my sister’s memory to save those. Dana gave me everything she had, selflessly, and I owe this to her. I’m the only one in my family who honors her.
    Bronson and I don’t talk about what my job could entail, the repercussions it could have for his father. We both know. He wouldn’t expect me to jeopardize my job, and I wouldn’t expect him to turn the other cheek if it happens. There will be a penance to pay for all of us if those roads cross and whichever path we choose will be a long and winding one, but I won’t be the cause of any pain for Bianca.
    ‘Bronson’ flashes across my phone as it begins ringing. “Yo.”
    The noise in the background makes his words difficult to hear. “I need you to get to the prom, grab Bianca, and get her back to the house. Now.”
    The panic in his voice is alarming and has my heart rate