Between the Assassinations by Aravind Adiga

us all in his office, man! Tomorrow, first thing!”
    All five of them had to be there in his office. The police would be present.
    “He’s going to have a lie detector.”
    Shabbir paused. Then he shouted, “I know you did it! Why don’t you confess? Why don’t you confess at once!”
    Shankara’s blood went chill. “Fuck you!” he yelled back, and slammed down the phone. But then he thought, My God, so Shabbir knew all along. Of course! Everyone knew all along. Everyone in the bad boys’ gang must have known; and by now they must have told the whole town. He thought, Let me confess right now. It would be best. Perhaps the police would give him some credit for having turned himself in. He dialed 100, which he thought was the police number.
    “I want to speak to the deputy inspector general, please.”
    “Ha?”
    The voice was followed by a shriek of incomprehension.
    Thinking he’d get better results, he spoke in English: “I want to confess. I planted the bomb.”
    “Ha?”
    “The bomb. It was me.”
    “Ha?”
    Another pause. The phone was transferred.
    He repeated his message to another person on the other line.
    Another pause.
    “Sorrysorrysorry?”
    He put the phone down in exasperation. Damn Indian police—couldn’t even answer a phone call properly; how the hell were they going to catch him?
    Then the phone rang again: Irfan, calling on behalf of the twins.
    “Shabbir just called us; he says we did it, man. I didn’t do it! Rizvan didn’t do it either! Shabbir is lying!”
    Then he understood: Shabbir had called everyone, and accused them all—hoping to extract a confession! Relief mingled with anger. He had almost been trapped! Now he felt anxious that the police might trace his 100 call back to his phone. He needed a plan, he thought, a plan. Yes, he got it: he would say, if they asked, that he was calling to report Shabbir Ali for the crime. Shabbir is a Muslim, he would say. He wanted to do this to punish India for Kashmir.
    The following morning, Lasrado was in the principal’s office, sitting next to Father Almeida, who was at his desk. The two men stared at the five suspects.
    “I have scientipic evidence,” Lasrado said. “ Pinger prints survive on the black stub of the bomb.” He sensed incredulity among the accused, so he added, “ Pingerprints have survived even on the loaves of bread lept behind in the Paraoh’s tomb. They are indestructible. We will pind the pucker who has done this, rest assured.”
    He pointed a finger.
    “And you, Pinto, a Christian boy—shame on you!”
    “I didn’t do it, sir,” Pinto said.
    Shankara wondered. Should he also throw in an interjection of his innocence, just to be safe?
    Lasrado looked at them piercingly, waiting for the guilty party to turn himself in. Minutes passed. Shankara understood: He has no fingerprints. He has no lie detector. He is desperate. He has been humiliated, mocked, and rendered a joke in college, and he wants revenge.
    “You puckers !” Lasrado shouted. And then, again, in a trembling voice, “Are you lapping at me? Are you lapping because I cannot say the letter ‘epp’ ?”
    Now the boys could barely control themselves. Shankara saw that even the principal, having turned his face to the ground, was trying to suppress his laughter. Lasrado knew this; you could see it on his face. Shankara thought, This man has been mocked his whole life because of his speech impediment. That’s why he has been such a jerk in class. And now his entire life’s work has been destroyed by this bomb; he will never be able to look back on his life with the pride, however false, that other professors do; never be able to say, at his farewell party, “My students, although I was strict, loved me.” Always there would be someone whispering at the back, “Yes, they loved you so much they exploded a bomb in your class!”
    At that moment, Shankara thought, I wish I had just left this man alone. I wish I had not humiliated him, as so