Bill 2 - on the Planet of Robot Slaves by Harry Harrison

hardware?”
    “The golden guy on the couch. Name of Zots and he seems to be in charge here.”
    “More than seems, friend Bill. I am Top Dog as you would say in your quaint language, though the definition of dog remains obscure. Do introduce me to your colleagues.”
    After Bill had done this, and they all had big drinks of water, Bill brought them up to date.
    “It seems that Zots here, and all the rest of his gang, are metal-based life forms.”
    Praktis's eyes popped wide open when he heard this and a horde of scientific questions sprang to his lips. Bill saw them sticking there so he quickly went on. “He will fill you in on all that scientific stuff later, Admiral. But first he was about to tell us about the flying dragons that attacked us. They have something to do with something called Wankkers.”
    “A slight correction,” Zots corrected. “They have been recently bred by the Wankkers. We keep a close eye on those metallic mothers because they are not to be trusted. Bill here has informed me that you war with the evil Chingers. You might say that our relationship with the Wankkers is very much the same. And, since they seem to have reared and trained the dragons for the Chingers, that would make us bedmates — would it not?”
    “Allies is a better word,” Praktis said.
    “Point taken, dear friend. As to the Wankkers, they are out to destroy us so we must destroy them first.”
    “Just like humans and Chingers!” Bill said brightly.
    “There would indeed appear to be a comparison. Here on Usa there are many and varied life forms — as you can see by looking about you. Millions of years ago life evolved in the warm pools of oil that adorn our landscape. Bathed by the rays of a benevolent sun, the process of evolution took many varied paths. Down through the ages there evolved the simple mineralvores who still graze the rich metal deposits in the hills and on the sandy prairies. But life is red, with rust, in tooth and fang. The machinevores evolved and preyed — and still prey — on the mineralvores. This is life as we know it and, I assume, as you know it?”
    “Exactly!” Praktis agreed with great enthusiasm. “Parallel evolution. We must discuss this concept at great length...”
    “As we shall. But first — the Wankkers. They evolved much as the other life forms did. But — how best to express it — they are insane in both the clinical and legal sense of the term. They are nuts. They have a screw loose. They have combined in a hideous alliance of mad machines and have been outcast by all sensible life forms. Long, long ago we sought to destroy them before they destroyed us. But just because they are insane it does not mean that they are stupid. The survivors of the metallic massacres fled and have built a stronghold in the mountains. Instead of living in peace they enslave others, beat and maltreat them. It is quite horrible. More horrible still to find them in league with these fleshly outcasts, the Chingers. Or so I am informed by friend Bill.”
    “True enough,” Praktis said. “They directed the flying dragon attack.”
    “It makes sense. We have been aware of furious activity at the Wankker stronghold of late. Great numbers of the flying dragons have been observed by our spies flapping about the hills. We feared another attack, not realizing that these ravening hordes were directed against others. While happy for ourselves, we are desolated to hear of your misfortune.”
    “So are we,” Praktis said. “I would dearly love to discuss evolution with you. But it will have to wait. Speaking from my military rank, not scientific, how do we get together for our mutual benefit? And the mutual destruction of our enemies.”
    “That is the question, isn't it? It will bear some thinking about. I would suggest that you now be shown to your quarters and take some light refreshments. A drop or two of lubricating oil, perhaps some powdered manganese? Oh, what am I saying!”
    “Relax,