Billie Standish Was Here by Nancy Crocker

us laughed.
    She steadied herself against the counter while I got my feet under me. I spoke first. “Do you think . . . I mean, are you saying . . . oh, Miss Lydia, do I have a baby inside me now?”
    It sounded ridiculous out loud. Mama didn’t even let me wear a training bra yet, even though I needed one. It hadn’t been that long since I’d packed away all my Barbie stuff.
    If I had a baby in me—it came all at once—then everybody would find out. I had to lay my cheek against the cool Formica counter in front of me.
    â€œAw now, child,” Miss Lydia started. I heard it catch in her throat. Calling me “child.” She was trying to stay calm, but her hands were shaking a lot worse than usual. “I seriously doubt it. I really, really do. But I had to ask. . . .”
    I had a jumble in my head and was trying to fit the pieces together. “But . . . if I haven’t gotten the curse yet, is it possible?”
    â€œBillie Marie! It’s hardly a curse!”
    â€œWell, that’s what Mama calls it,” I said.
    Miss Lydia shook her head like she felt sorry. “Well, you call it whatever you want, but that mama of yours is somethin’ else.”
    But she wasn’t thinking about Mama. It looked more like she was trying to remember the combination to a safe she hadn’t opened in years. She blew out a lungful of exasperation.
    â€œI don’t know.” She was matter-of-fact, like I had asked if we were going to have a white Christmas that year. “It doesn’t seem like it would work that way, but I just don’t know. It’s a whole lot easier to find out you’re not expecting early on than if you are.”
    â€œSo what do I do?” My chin started quivering. I couldn’t make it stop.
    â€œLemme think on it.”
    I had an inspiration. “Is there something I can do, something I can take, I mean, to make sure it doesn’t, didn’t, happen?”
    â€œNO!” Miss Lydia started out of her chair and I jumped. “Oh, lord, no, child, no. Don’t you even begin to think about hurting your body in any way, shape, or form. Just put that outta your mind this instant.”
    â€œI just thought . . . maybe there was some easy way. . . .” Just thought. Just wished. Just hoped. Just make it go away.
    Miss Lydia’s mouth twisted up like she’d bitten into something sour. “If there was, wouldn’t anybody have a baby they hadn’t planned on, now, would they?”
    Oh. Of course. That girl who went away to take care of a sick aunt for six months. The other one who gave birth to a nine-pound “preemie” seven months after her wedding. All the women who were married up all nice and tidy and still liked their kids about as much as canker sores.
    â€œSo what do I do now? Just wait to see if my stomach starts growing?” I felt light-headed.
    Miss Lydia shook her head. She looked a little cross. “I said, ‘lemme think on it.’ ” I didn’t see how I was going to think about anything else until I knew for sure.
    I sat up straight as a yardstick and gasped. “I fainted!”
    â€œYeah?” She frowned.
    â€œWell, on TV, that’s always the first sign somebody’s going to have a baby. That’s how you know.” I felt cold.
    Miss Lydia smiled for the first time since the subject had come up. “Well, now, honey, that’s TV. You just can’t believe everything you see on it. Besides, that’s men writin’ about woman things for you.”
    Oh. I had no problem with the difference between fact and fiction, but I’d always thought even fiction was based on something true. I hadn’t thought about anybody just plain getting it wrong.
    Miss Lydia interrupted my thoughts. “I probably shouldn’t’ve even brought it up. Chances